BURLINGTON, VT — Bernie Sanders has recently announced that he will be performing “When I’m Gone” with the Anna Kendrick-style cup performance to go along with it. He will be touring the United States to raise funds for fellow senatorial candidates.
“Seeing how the election turned out,” Sanders said at a rally this past Wednesday. “How corporate greed has got its hands everywhere again, I knew the American people would miss me when I’m gone. So, I will be performing the cup song on a national tour.”
Sanders, 75, has shown that he is very physically capable. Whether it be running to help a fallen volunteer or dashing to make it to a rally, his health has been shown to hold up under the most demanding of circumstances. His ability to perform the cup song, he says, stems from this.
“I knew, America,” Sanders said, “I knew that you would miss me by my walk. I knew that you would miss me by my talk. Now, I will prove once again that I am more capable than both of these candidates. I am sure neither of them can perform the cup song, and neither of them would unless paid by Goldman Sachs to do it.”
Met with loud applause, Sanders’ supporters have been excited for the new Sanders “When I’m Gone” tour.
“I’ve been a huge fan of Bernie Sanders since his first album,” Vermont local Logan Burgle told reporters. “That folk album was some good s--t. I’m so happy he’s going on another tour. It’s been so long.”
“Of course I’m going,” Vermont resident Katherine Weller said. “He has so much enthusiasm and he has such a way with words. I’m sure that translates great to music.”
Sanders will be touring within the next few days. Tickets are set to be $27, the same as the average donation to his campaign.
Marco Omta is a sophomore studying music production. How do you feel about the election? Email Marco at mo183714@ohio.edu.
