I recently heard a story about a guy friend who asked out a random girl at the library, something he would never typically do. A long night of studying had driven him into delusional confidence and, much to his surprise, she said yes. He left Alden feeling victorious. He had seven numbers on a sticky note, but what now?
I don’t actually know if the two went out on a date, or if they went out one night and hooked up, or if they even spoke to each other again. I do know, however, that I’ve heard stories like that before and they typically end in a similar fashion:
He probably texted her a few times, and maybe they got along and flirted with each other. After feeling it out and ensuring he wasn’t a creep, I’m sure she hit him up over the weekend, and they made plans to see each other at a house party or up on Court Street. If they hit it off, he probably bought her a drink, or they did a round of shots together, and at the end of the night, they walked home together.
What happened after that walk home is none of my business, but I think the path that got our hypothetical couple to where this particular couple was is the problem with the millennial dating culture.
We spend a lot of our time at parties or the bars meeting new people and mingling while drinking alcohol, so a lot of those conversations and evenings spent out with the new guy or girl we met the other day are happening while we're intoxicated. Are we missing things in these under the influence conversations?
One of the most notable characteristics of alcohol is its ability to loosen people up and break them away from inhibitions or insecurities they normally experience. It can be assumed then that we’re not portraying ourselves accurately, and we might not be getting an accurate representation of the other person either.
What happens when you go out or spend time together without alcohol for the first time? Things might be awkward or tense. You may feel like you don’t really know each other, and you might even finding yourself eating words you may have said from a previous night out when you were feeling a little bit more free.
The strong prevalence of online dating and communication pushes more and more people to meet in unauthentic ways, and, even when we do meet face to face, our conversations are diluted.
Relationships are valuable, and I want our generation to work a little harder at genuinely connecting with one another without the help of the bar scene.
Haley Dake is a senior studying journalism at Ohio University. How do you feel about millennial dating culture? Let Haley know by emailing her at @hd883312@ohio.edu.
