To some people like Samantha Bishop, Feb. 14 should be a repeat of a holiday.
Bishop, a junior studying industrial and systems engineering, said last year she told her then-boyfriend she wished Valentine’s Day was a “second Thanksgiving.” On that day, he bought her a milkshake, and it had “Happy Second Thanksgiving” written on the cup.
Valentine’s Day is a holiday that has lost its original meaning and has murky religious ties — the beginning tells of Saint Valentine. The most popular legend is that he wed couples after Emperor Claudius II of Rome outlawed men marrying because singletons made better soldiers. The day’s universally understood meaning came about in the Middle Ages because people who lived in France and England believed it was the start of mating season for birds and therefore a day of adoration.
“There’s a lot of controversy around Valentine’s Day,” Anthony Barszczewski, a junior studying sociology, said. “It is, nowadays, very materialistic, and people feel like they have a lot of expectations to fulfill.”
Barszczewski added that a person in a relationship can feel pressured around Valentine’s Day to make plans or buy gifts if their partner is into it and they are not.
There’s never any pressure for women to make the day special for their male partners, Bishop said.
Chelsea Langlois, an OU alumna and Athens resident, said she works at Zoe Fine Dining, and customers have come in asking for a Valentine’s Day reservation weeks, or even months, in advance. She added that on the day, the restaurant usually gets a “good mix” of couples, friends and even singles who just want to be out having fun.
“You’re expected to go out. You’re expected to do what has been socially sanctioned as Valentine’s Day things,” Loran Marsan, a visiting assistant professor of women’s, gender and sexuality studies, said.
Marsan added that in “gendered” and “monogamous” relationships, there is a certain assumption of a partner who fits into a certain role being expected to do nice things for their partner on the holiday, which can be lost in translation when applied to queer relationships.
“You should do nice things all year round,” Nick Reincheld, an undecided freshman, said.
There’s too much emphasis on the one day, and it makes people believe they can “slack off the rest of the 364 days,” Bishop said.
“(They’re) showing love through objects and not through actions,” Bishop said.
Reincheld said the holiday gives off the wrong impression that if a person spends more money on a significant other than they are more thoughtful.
Most stores have a few aisles dedicated to love-themed products, Marsan said, and soon after Valentine’s Day is finished, the items will be marked down a “ridiculous amount.”
“Every couple has to deal with their own set of issues and daily stresses,” Barszczewski said. “And to take a break from that and simply celebrate your love for each other, I think is really important.”
Langlois said Valentine’s Day is a good reason to have some “celebratory ‘us’ time” for couples. She likes to plan dinner or drinks with a group of friends the night before Valentine’s Day.
Bishop said she and some of her friends will go to Columbus for dinner and watch Fifty Shades Darker to get away from couples rubbing romance in their faces.
Reincheld said Valentine’s Day should include everyone someone cares about and not just romantic partners.
Marsan said until her mother’s death, her mom would send her “those silly candy hearts” each Valentine’s Day. She added that there’s a certain right way to do caring things for a partner.
“At the end of the day, (Valentine’s Day) is about celebrating love, (which is) something everyone can practice,” Barszczewski said.
