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BedPost: Want to be good in bed? Learn your foreplay

Having sex without foreplay is like having dinner without anything to drink. Sure, you feel good and full, but was it really satisfying?

Learning the basics of foreplay will propel you forward in the hierarchy of people who are good at sex. At the bottom are virgins and first-timers, usually in their teens, and at the top are people like Samantha Jones from Sex and the City and pornstars. Want to climb that pyramid? Learn foreplay.

What is foreplay, you ask? Foreplay is any act, sexual or not sexual, before performing intercourse. So it can entail massages, kissing, oral and just about everything in between.

While those all sound lovely, how do you get “good” at it?

It all comes down to practice, understanding your partner and understanding yourself. Sometimes hopping straight to home run territory can be fun, but if you add the anticipation that foreplay brings, your orgasm can be 100 times better.

Step one: Practice

Stop hopping straight into sex. Take time to touch your partner, give a massage, make out and enjoy your time together with them. Even if it’s a casual hookup, foreplay can be used as a great tool to arouse your partner and, for lack of a better phrase, get the juices flowing. So every time you have a hookup, take some time to have some hand/oral action before actual penetration. Another tip: To make your hookup last longer, take some time in between intercourse sessions to go back to some of these foreplay actions.

Step two: Understanding your partner

This is easier said than done, but try to figure out what your partner asks. Sure, you’ll find that they like the way you move your tongue like that, but finding out what they really like is easily solved by a simple question: “What do you like?” Maybe they’ll say “I like when you go down on me” or “when you use your hand like that.” With these answers, you can branch off and figure out what they really like in your own personalized way.

Step three: Understanding yourself

How can you have good foreplay if you don’t know what you like? Tell your partner you want to experiment a little bit with what you do before you have intercourse. Try a blowjob with ice, some numbing spray or BDSM toys. You never know what you’ll like.

Foreplay can be a fun way to extend the length of your hookup and make your orgasm longer and more intense. The anticipation before intercourse could lead you to an amazing orgasm during that, or maybe even a new way to get the "Big-O" (hello, oral!). Whatever it may be, be sure you’re comfortable with whatever you’re doing. And most importantly, have fun!

Hannah Wintucky is a sophomore studying strategic communication and Spanish at Ohio University. What are your favorite foreplay tricks? Let Hannah know by emailing her or tweeting her at hw333514@ohio.edu or @wintuck.

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