The third episode of The Bachelorette shocks viewers with an unlikely relationship blooming between Britt and Brady, hilarious comedy with Amy Schumer and a harsh reality check for Kupah.
The third episode of The Bachelorette began as cliché as possible: Kaitlyn rises from her bed and stares longingly at the window. In her perfectly-done hair and makeup, she laments about how surreal it all is that she’s the Bachelorette.
Spoiler: we’re going to hear this about a million times this season. Snooze.
Back at a hotel room, Britt, who didn’t win the men’s vote to continue on as the next Bachelorette, calls her mom to deliver the news — while crying, of course — that she’s headed home. I feel bad for her, but not after she again talks about how “shocked” she is that she’s leaving. The whole “shocked” thing is really bothering me, considering she had just as much of a chance as Kaitlyn did.
The First Group Date
Back at the real show, the boys wander into a dilapidated, dark house and are asking, “Kaitlyn? Where are you?”
It’s not actually hide and seek, though – turns out they have a group date, and it’s a boxing lesson with Laila Ali, the undefeated professional boxer. Kupah, the bald entrepreneur, seems far more into Laila than Kaitlyn, which annoys Kaitlyn — she says, “I took you boxing but you’re like, WAY too into boxing” — but I can’t actually blame her because he doesn’t say a WORD to Kaitlyn throughout the WHOLE DATE! This comes back to bite him later.
The lessons are to prepare the guys for a boxing match. After the men square off in the ring, two men are left standing: Ben Z, weighing in at 225 pounds and Jared, weighing in at… 170.
Kaitlyn keeps talking about how she doesn’t want anyone to get hurt, but let’s point out the fact that she DID allow the first group date to consist of competing men punching each other.
Naturally, Ben Z hits Jared so hard he has to go to the emergency room. While Jared gets his head checked out, Kaitlyn is laughing it up with Ben. They realize that, oh my gosh, they both love to cook! Though, Ben’s definition of cooking might not be the same as Kaitlyn’s…
While Kaitlyn’s chatting it up with another guy, she is handed a note (high-five, Bachelorette interns) and it’s from Jared. He’s back from the emergency room, and the note asks Kaitlyn to leave the guy she’s talking to IMMEDIATELY - basically so the two can make out. Yay!
While Kaitlyn makes out with everybody, viewers are brought back to Britt and Brady’s up-and-coming love story. They’re clearly hitting it off, but it’s starting to become its own separate side-show. If producers are going to follow Britt’s love story, why not just have a second “bachelorette” competition on the side all season? As long as Kaitlyn is the one handing out roses, I’m here to watch her — not Britt. I’m hoping they just live happily ever after, and I don’t have to watch a tidbit of it every week.
The One-On-One Date
Kaitlyn picks Clint to head on the first one-on-one date. She drives them there, which is cool and makes it seem more like a real date and less like an overpriced reality show stunt. As for the actual date they go on? Not so much. Turns out they arrive to a pool to get some underwater photography done.
If this was my first date with someone I barely knew, I’d be running away thinking he or she is a stage-5-clinger. I mean, this date is strange to take a fiancé on, much less a guy whose last name you probably don’t even know yet. Odd choice, Kaitlyn.
And we’re all thinking to ourselves…
*watching the bachelorette* mom- "Edward let's take underwater pictures" Edward-"sandy, we'd look like drowned rats" — Maddy Loria (@maddyloria1) May 26, 2015
Then they make out in front of the photographers, who are like…
It’s like something out of America’s Next Top Model, but more awkward. I’m hoping Tyra Banks will come out and give Clint some pointers on how to not look like a creeper.
Take my breath away!