Though Scream Queens provided a mind-blowing cliffhanger at the end of its two-episode premiere, the show so far isn’t quite as strong as Ryan Murphy’s other beginnings. As mentioned in the first review, Murphy excels at the start of a new show because it’s fresh. Usually he is moving away from another project that has started to decline in appeal and quality.
Scream Queens more often than not provides opportunities for outlandish hilarity and biting quips, but beyond that, it lacks significantly. At least in the beginning of Glee, the characters have heart and drive. In American Horror Story: Murder House, the plot drives viewers’ interest until the very end. With Scream Queens, the quips’ luster will soon tarnish and the show won’t have anything left.
This week's episode, “Chainsaw,” kicks off with Grace (Skyler Samuels) and Zayday (Keke Palmer) sneaking out and grabbing snacks at a convenience store. Zayday is too busy buying pork rinds — Ryan Murphy, please stop the racial stereotypes — to realize the Red Devil was in the next aisle. Fortunately, Grace tases him in the crotch. Only it isn’t the serial killer. It's a guy named Eugene. Of course, he’s named Eugene.
Chanel No. 2’s (Ariana Grande) body disappears from the freezer, but it doesn’t matter much because no one finds out she's gone. Though her Twitter explicitly says, ‘Help, I’m being murdered by the Red Devil,' everyone is looking at her Instagram, where she's still posting pictures of herself by the pool. Is that a commentary on which social platform is more relevant? Also that's for sure her dead body posed at the side of a pool. “She ain’t even cute.”
But Chanel #2 is still posting on Instagram! #ScreamQueens pic.twitter.com/sQn8ncyGfv
— Scream Queens (@ScreamQueens) September 30, 2015
Thankfully, Denise (Niecy Nash) is there to tell all the idiots that no, it isn’t ketchup on Chanel No. 2’s carpet; it's blood. Got to have that handy dandy luminol on you at all times. To see what's up, Grace, Zayday and Denise nonchalantly travel to Bel Air to talk to Chanel No. 2’s parents, who just so happen to be Charisma Carpenter and Roger Bart.
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It's revealed that Chanel No. 2’s real name is Sonya and she might have had a drinking problem, in addition to that she's apparently also seeing — and “porking” — Chad Radwell (Glen Powell). Though the term is repulsive, I have to say that Powell is becoming an immediate breakout hit of the show. His unwavering, deadpan delivery is delightful, and he is so splendidly sure of himself in the role. And he’s not too hard on the eyes either.
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On the other side of things, Chad’s hookups with the other Chanels — he is also connected to No. 3 and 5 — give him even more of a motive to be the Red Devil.
Although Chanel No. 2’s — I don’t like Sonya — parents don’t want her to return home, Grace’s dad Wes (Oliver Hudson) is the opposite. He’s following the GPS in her phone, sleeping in his Jeep outside of the Kappa house and he’s now teaching her film class even though he’s a literature professor.
After an inappropriate fight in front of the class, Grace walks out and Wes puts on what he thinks is “the best” film. No, it’s not Sixteen Candles, Jennifer (Breezy Eslin), it’s The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The best? Really? If you’re going to pick a classic horror movie, go with Halloween even if Jamie Lee Curtis also known as Dean Munsch is in it.
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This also reminds viewers that tonight’s weapon of choice is the chainsaw. Coincidence? I think not.
Then Wes says some pretty incriminating and weird stuff, like that the chainsaw is the “perfect weapon of destruction” and “Aren’t we all just running from the chainsaws in our past?” Are we? Are chainsaws now synonymous with ghosts and past sins? He also awkwardly flirts with Gigi (Nasim Pedrad) and then makes everyone suspicious when he talks about how everyone has been traumatized and you can either get over it or take your hurt out on the world. Who says these kinds of things? Ryan Murphy, stop trying to make everyone seem suspicious. It’s not clever. It doesn’t throw viewers for a loop. It just leads to bad acting and annoyed audiences.
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At a pseudo-Take Back the Night event, Dean Munsch announces the school’s new mascot Coney, who is replacing the Red Devil because he’s not exactly pleasing anymore.
Go Cones!
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Coney, aka Aaron Cohen, is loving life. He’s the top dog on campus and a criminal at the same time. He high-fives everyone, slaps a girl’s butt (rude) and steals money from the cafeteria cash register. But karma comes around really quickly as the Red Devil attacks him in his dorm room and CHAINSAWS HIS HEAD OFF. At least he puts up a fight. But how did no one see a Red Devil walk into a dorm room with a chainsaw? No one saw that? No one thought, ‘Hey, that’s odd. I should tell someone about this?'
I also really appreciate how you never see the man behind the mask. When his head is severed, the cone rolls and hides it. It’s an odd, almost poetic move.
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RIP Coney. You were great for those two minutes. Bring on the Kony 2012/Coney 2015 jokes.
Chanel No. 3 (Billie Lourd) and Sam (Jeanna Han) aka “predatory lez” bond in this episode and become “ali-buddies” or alibi buddies when Chanel No. 3 asks Sam to be her alibi the night Tiffany was mowed down. Suspicious? Yes. But her reasoning is that her real father is Charles Manson. Horrible and stupid plot move? Yes.
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With two Chanels down, Chanel (Emma Roberts) needs more minions and recruits Hester (Lea Michele) as Chanel No. 6 after a makeover. Heaven forbid Michele just play the nerd and wear the neck brace. Sure, she still delivers the lines well and has a funny presence, but the dorky clothing elevates the performance to a whole other level. It's the same situation with Glee. The Rachel Berry we all came to know and love died when she looked more like Lea Michele and less like Rachel Berry. I’m afraid the same might become true for Hester. Hester's actually cute wavy hair, neck brace and frumpy clothes are a part of her. RIP neck brace.
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Chanel No. 5 (Abigail Breslin) is NOT pleased about Chanel making a pledge a Chanel. She yells that Chanel is disrespecting the rules and shouldn’t be president. Oh, up the tally on Chanel No. 5’s reasons to be the Red Devil. She’s a likely villain, but Breslin is simply awful, and I hope her character gets killed off soon — or that she's “killed” and her body disappears.
Chad gathers his Dickie Dollars Scholars in their finest and preppiest white outfits to avenge Boone’s (Nick Jonas) death, which they determine was not a suicide like Munsch had said it was. Chad claims he saw footprints going back and forth from where the body was found to the bathroom, meaning good ol’ Boone had to pee after he set up his big display. Despite the fact that he is still alive, Boone is a no-show this episode. Sorry, Jonas fans. Just watch the “Sunglasses at Night” montage again.
To the tune of “Backstreets Back,” the Dickie Dollar Scholars search the streets like Alex and his droogs in A Clockwork Orange. That’s a combination I never thought would exist.
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They ultimately find the Red Devil … and another one. That’s right. The partners in crime theory is correct. Some people are working together to terrorize campus. Wielding chainsaws, the Red Devils attack the group. Chad gets knocked to the ground but the Red Devil pauses while standing over him, which leads me to believe it’s Boone in the costume. But the Red Devil doesn’t hesitate when a fellow Dickie Dollar Scholar tries to come to Chad’s rescue. He saws off the guy’s arms! It's like what happens to Matt Bomer in American Horror Story: Freak Show, only less repulsive.
Going back to my favorite character, Denise confronted Zayday about being a “person of extreme murderous interest,” which is totally a thing. Zayday complained this nonsense would make her late for dinner, but Denise hilariously replied: “But you will be on time for justice.” Nash is KILLING IT on this show. If she doesn’t win an Emmy or Golden Globe for this, I don’t know what I’ll do. Denise had several pieces of evidence against Zayday. For instance, a CD from the Best Buy that her now-dead friend Shondel was guarding. She also has a printout of Zayday’s tweets — in a plastic bag, mind you — to Shonda Rhimes about How To Get Away with Murder, saying that Annalise would really get away with murder if she partnered with someone “#cahoots.” HASHTAG CAHOOTS, Denise exclaimed. Seriously, get Nash the Emmy now.
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Interestingly, Denise does find a chainsaw under Zayday’s bed, but Zayday claims it was a gift from her grandma after her taser was taken away. How is a chainsaw the next logical step up from a taser? Also, this theme of chainsaws being used tonight is utterly stupid. I can see the Red Devil using it to frighten people but throwing it into story lines like this is ridiculous.
Pete (Diego Boneta) and Grace make up and are back to liking each other again as they set out to find Greenwell, who is on the list of names in the file Pete finds in Munsch’s office. She dropped out of school two credits shy of graduating the same year the Bathtub Baby — its official name for now — was born.
Logically, they decide to pursue the six-hour trip to talk to her. Don’t you have classes? To keep her dad off the trail, Grace tells him she’s in the library. How is that excuse going to work when you’re gone for an entire day? Plus, that gas station looks super shady and it's named “Last Stop.” It’s an obvious symbol and one that you need to pay attention to.
In a hilarious turn of events, Dean Munsch suggests she and Gigi move into the Kappa house to keep an eye on them. Their odd couple relationship is outstanding, and I want them to have their own spinoff with an episode solely dedicated to Munsch’s “white noise” machine that actually plays the sounds of chimpanzees or that of a “slasher movie.” Coincidence? I think not.
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Or an episode with them playing tennis.
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Speaking of Pedrad, the woman is magnificent. She owns the role of Gigi and makes what would be an unnecessary part of the ensemble significant and vital to the comedy of the show. She was underutilized on Saturday Night Live and I’m glad to see her shining on Scream Queens and actually getting a decent amount to do.
Gigi smartly decides to sleep on the couch, though she doesn’t get much of a chance to do so as the Red Devil comes at her with — you guessed it — a chainsaw. Good for her for actually putting up a fight and winning. She literally high kicks the villain over the couch. It's awesome. However, she doesn’t do so before the Red Devil uses the chainsaw to stab Wes in the arm when he comes to help. Who uses a chainsaw to stab someone? That is not its job.
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Munsch descends the stairs after the Red Devil has escaped, asking what's happening. Wes grabs the abandoned chainsaw and points it toward Munsch, accusing her of being the killer.
This is a horrible cliffhanger. It’s not even a cliffhanger because the characters have been accusing people of being the killer left and right all episode long. It’s particularly horrible in comparison to the premiere’s cliffhanger that grabbed everyone’s attention and made them want to keep watching. It probably can’t happen at that level every episode, but this is a hard come down after the stellar premiere cliffhanger.
Lastly, I'll just leave this hilarious photo here that addresses the odd hat situation Scream Queens has each week:
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Rating: 3/5
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