Here are four typical dads you’ll see on your escapades this Dads Weekend.
When family-themed weekends come around what also comes with it is the plethora of weird parents. You always have that one with the video camera and the one that gets more drunk than a freshman on Welcome Weekend. But one thing never fails: the vast majority of dads who fit into one of a few stereotypes. Here are some of the dads you’ll see this weekend:
The “OU Oh Yeah!” Dad
You’ll see him walking through College Green, running ahead of his child to look at the Alumni Gateway or Baker Center. They’re SUPER pumped to be here, and want to go to EVERY activity this weekend to get the “full OU experience.” They’re usually a little older in age, ranging from 50 to 62. They want to be cool, but may be a little old to go to the bars unless it’s Broney’s at 7 p.m., or Casa Nueva for a strawberry margarita. You can spot them by their OU ballcap, OU golf pullover/polo, khakis and tennis shoes.
The “I sent my kid here because it’s a liberal hippie school and that’s who I am” Dad
He may or may not smell like patchouli and Old Spice with a hint of something else. He’ll be meandering through campus slowly, and his eyes may not be totally open. You’ll hear him mention the Grateful Dead or Jimi Hendrix at LEAST once. He’ll also be the first to compliment the sustainable, locally grown food at the restaurants uptown. Expect this dad to be wearing a tie-dye t-shirt or an old band t-shirt that looks like it either costs $150 at American Apparel or like he just pulled it out of a garbage disposal. Faded Levi's or any type of denim will cover up the socks and Birkenstocks he wears. “Hey man!" or “What’s up dude?” will be his slogan all weekend, and you’ll probably see him sipping a craft beer at Jackie O’s Pub & Brewery.
The “My son is a legacy in my old frat and I’m an alum” Dad AKA “The Fratty Daddy”
There will be an air of Drakkar Noir around him, and his old-school Sperry’s will squeak on the freshly waxed floor of J-Bar or his son’s fraternity house. He will wear a pastel Ralph Lauren Polo his wife picked up for him at Nordstrom, and he may or may not have an accent that can only be described as “regal.” To fit in with his “brothers,” an old ballcap from his golden years will be backwards on his head. You can spot him by his love for Steely Dan or his persistence in showing everyone a picture of his wife on his iPhone. His son will probably take him to J-Bar and they’ll do shots of Crown Maple together and laugh off into the sunset.
The “I love sports so much SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS!” Dad
You can’t miss him. He’s sitting at the Pigskin with his kid, SCREAMING at the TV about some college football team he doesn’t even follow that just fumbled the ball. He’s wearing an OU t-shirt or polo tucked into a pair of shorts with some high socks and Nikes. He’s wearing a ball cap that says something related to OU because sports. At the football or basketball game, he’s loud, incapable of going under a noise level of 7/10 and may or may not be drunk from tailgating. He’s screaming something about some player’s number, saying “F--k 'insert school here’ " and is holding EVERY freebie that was being given out at the gate. He’ll be the one throwing the football in the parking lot with his kid Sunday morning, not even phased by the crazy night last night, where he took shots of Tequila and Jack before becoming ubër competitive in pool at Lucky’s and beating some other sports dad up.
Happy Dads Weekend!
@wintuck
hw333514@ohio.edu
