Episode six, “Room 33,” of American Horror Story: Hotel shows AHS can get weirder.


The beginning of this season was really a doozy. It started off weak and slow, and the plot line seemed to be something taken right out of the previous seasons.

But as we approach the midway point of the season, we now know that this season is anything but boring and basic.

We’ve had our heart broken by Liz, (Denis O’Hare) our stomachs wrenched by the bed people, and most of all, we’ve been transfixed by Lady Gaga.

At the beginning, I was skeptical of Ryan Murphy’s ability to create another different season of the show. While it may not be the most original, it still satisfies our craving for the weirdness AHS always delivers.

Now, for this week’s episode, “Room 33.”

A very old school yellow taxi pulls up on a street. We see the Countess (Lady Gaga) get out, and the camera pans to yes, THE MURDER HOUSE, circa 1926.


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She is greeted by none other than the infamous ether-sniffer Charles Montgomery. When he asks how long she’s been pregnant, Gaga says it’s only been three weeks and she’s swelled like a balloon. When the nurse takes her temperature, she’s surprised it is only 75.5 degrees. The high-as-hell Charles doesn’t care and proceeds with the abortion. Gaga gets knocked out with none other than ether, and the baby is ripped out of her. It attacks the nurse, and Gaga holds it lovingly, while Charles stands there looking like an idiot.

John (Wes Bentley) is sleeping in bed when he is woken up by Holden’s voice. He runs to follow him and falls upon the swimming pool where the coffins are. He is completely dumbfounded and looks like he just woke up from anesthesia when he sees the kids in the coffins. He finally makes it to the big one where Alex (Chloë Sevigny) and Holden are together in the coffin. He slams on the glass and the two wake up, and he continues to look dumbfounded.

We then see a steamy, passionate scene between two unknown counterparts. They seem to really enjoy each other’s company and seem to be having a good time. The camera then pans out and we see Liz and Tristan (Finn Wittrock) in bed together. They really seem to like each other. Liz talks about her transition, and how she couldn’t see, feel, taste or love until she was in the skin she liked. Then Liz drops the bomb and says she is falling in love with him. Tristan doesn’t know, but admits there is something significant between them. Liz wonders if this is wrong, with them betraying Gaga and all, but Tristan thinks it will be fine. This scene really showed the power of love and how, if you open your heart, anything can happen. Liz showed so much emotion and love in this and I couldn’t stop. This cemented the fact that Liz is my favorite character this season.

The Countess and Will Drake (Cheyenne Jackson) are having sex, and he can’t get it up. He says that it’s not her beauty, but the fact that he can’t get hard with a girl. Gaga doesn’t mind and says it’s an invitation for an adventure. She summons Tristan and he runs to her room. When he arrives, Drake is butt up and Gaga tell him to get it done. He says he’s not gay, but Gaga makes him do it otherwise. She’s practically a pimp.

The scene cuts to Alex freaking out after she drugged John in an outfit that is fit for an old timey nanny. He has seen the pool with the coffins and she doesn’t know what to do. Liz tells her that they need to move them. We see Liz break glass.

John wakes up to Alex over him, where she says that he called her frantically last night speaking of some visions that he was having. She found him unconscious in the hallway. Alex says he is having a psychotic break, and his visions of the pool are the same things that their daughter Scarlett said weeks before. He runs down to the pool, where he finds nothing, and again looks dumbfounded.

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Gaga then goes to the infamous room 33 in a fabulous flowing baby doll gown and tells her baby (yes, after almost 100 years it is still a baby) that she will be back soon with lots of money.

Donovan (Matt Bomer) and Ramona Royale (Angela Bassett) come to the hotel with plans to kill the children in the coffins. She is angry when she goes to the pool and sees that the kids are gone. Ramona goes to the front desk where Iris (Kathy Bates) is still in a stupor after her feeding frenzy on the hipsters. Ramona asks for the key to room 33, and Iris obliges.

Donovan goes upstairs to the penthouse and is seen sniffing Gaga’s panties. He is startled to see Agnetha and Vendela (the Swedes), and they ask him how to get out of the hotel. He tells them that in order to get out they need to find a purpose. He talks about a teacher named Cara who was loving, but was not loved by anyone and killed herself in the tub. She found her purpose by terrorizing the guests and killing them. He talks about how the purpose will only make their lives matter, but not allow them to leave. This was very interesting because of its relation to the theme of addiction this season. Life seems to have no purpose when people are addicted to drugs or activities. But, if you find a purpose, you can break the chains of addiction and finally feel like you matter. Very philosophical.

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Ramona goes to room 33 and hunts for the now-named baby, Bartholomew. He is not in his crib, and she suspects he is under the changing table. He throws a ball to distract her, and when she comes after him, he attacks. Now, this baby has to be the most demonic baby ever. Think Murder House or Rosemary’s Baby. It’s crazy. I like the demonic baby thing, but there may be too much parallelism to Murder House and it’s plot line. Only the rest of the season can tell.

Liz brings the baby’s food to room 33 and finds the door open. He explains to Alex that someone is going to get messed up if no one finds that baby before Gaga gets back. Back at the bar, Liz gives Ramona a drink and tells her how he misses her, but she must leave before Gaga gets back. Liz tells Ramona about the affair with Tristan, and she thinks it will not go well when she finds out.

The scene then cuts to a very attractive Asian man, Mr. Wu, who sees one of the Swedes in the hallway. She offers him some company and they go to his room to have sex. After he is done with her, the other Swede comes into the room. Mr. Wu says how he doesn’t pay for sex, and he tells the girls to leave as he goes in the bathroom. One of the girls goes into the bathroom and murders the guy with an icepick. They both kill him, and have a passionate session on the bed together covered in his blood. I was sad. I really wanted Mr. Wu to live. He was REALLY hot.


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Alex then explains to the women they don’t need to kill to have a purpose. They can deceive and break the minds of others to find purpose. Great, all we need now is two broken-English speaking Swedes to break John’s mind more.

John (eye-roll) is seen in a church where the latest murder has happened. A televangelist pastor was stuffed with coins until his stomach exploded. These special effects were AWESOME. It’s aggravating when a team of top-notch artists can only show their skills like this every once in awhile. It was SO realistic and unlike anything I have seen in an AHS episode before. The now head detective tells John that he is fired and he needs to leave the church, and they have a suspect in custody. And YET AGAIN John is left looking like he just swallowed something really bad, or that he just got fooled by a riddle from someone.

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Liz sees John drunken in the hall and gets him to his room. She says she wants him to be safe, but John insists that this is his breakdown, and he’s going to have it his way. He is then seduced by the Swedes, and they go to his room. They are making out, covered in blood, and we don’t know if it’s theirs or John’s. He runs away naked to the front desk where Liz says, “Looks like that breakdown is going well.” He runs back to the room and finds James March (Evan Peters) who welcomes him to the Cortez life. John smashes his head against the wall a bunch of times and then tries to pack, but covers everything in blood. He showers, and Bartholomew is seen hopping into John’s suitcase. John then FINALLY checks out of the hotel. This scene was so bloody and awesome, and I’m glad John finally had his breakdown. Maybe now he’ll be a more dynamic character.

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On his way back home, John picks up Scarlett. She’s mad because her OWN MOTHER hasn’t talked to her in the last two days, and she’s had to stay at her grandma’s house for the last few weeks. She wonders why he is there, as he’d moved out. After unpacking, he looks for his crying daughter. She notices his bloody shirt and freaks out. He makes her some snacks and puts her on the couch in front of the TV and lets her relax. After going back to his room, he notices his clothes are scattered everywhere. He grabs his gun (his first reaction) and goes to investigate. He finds Bartholomew in the kitchen and fires a few shots at him, and Scarlett freaks out. She tells him to stay away. I don’t blame her. John has been in this Cortez-induced stupor since the beginning. Maybe the cops will send him to the Asylum.

Gaga and Will return from Paris and find Liz all upset. Gaga offers to pay for her transition surgery, but she says she’s worried about something else. Liz reveals to Gaga that she and Tristan have been having an affair for the past few weeks. Gaga tells Liz that she doesn’t share, but she can have Tristan after she’s done. Liz pleads and says that she doesn’t have a lot of time, and Gaga says she’ll think about it. After all Gaga has done for Liz and how much she loves her, it’s shocking that she wouldn’t give her Tristan. She’s so territorial and clingy it’s ridiculous.

We then go back to John’s house, where his ex-partner drops off Alex at the house. She tells him he needs to sleep in his own bed and house. He realizes that she has moved to the hotel and freaks out and leaves her with the same dumb look he’s had on his face all season. She hears a rustling in the bushes next to the house and goes to investigate. She finds Bartholomew and presumably takes him home.

This is where it all goes down.

Tristan meets Liz and Gaga in Liz’s hotel room. Gaga pours them a drink and they explain how they are in love. But, Gaga says how she does not like being betrayed. Tristan says how Gaga creates the monsters, gets them addicted to her, and then abandons them and enjoys watching them suffer. She asks if they really want each other, and after they say yes, she lets them. Just as you think they’re about to live happily ever after, Gaga slices open Tristan’s throat and tells Liz that he’s hers and to bury him. The cutest, happiest couple in the world was just shattered, and I was shattered too. Just as Gaga was becoming a likable character, she does something like this. This whole scene left me like:

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Gaga leaves a tattered Liz to go find her demented baby in room 33. When she arrives, she finds Alex cradling the baby in her arms. She tells Gaga how the baby was hurt and lost a little blood. Gaga looks distraught but is surprised that she was able to save him. Alex tells her she saved Holden, so it’s almost a return of favors. Alex gives Bartholomew to Gaga and she cradles him. The camera pans to his face, and...WHAT IS THAT??!?!

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It was the most deformed, ugly baby I have ever seen. It had a cleft palate taking up the majority of it’s face, NO nose, sharp, demonic teeth and some creepy black alien eyes all set on a head that looked like a tulip bulb. The first thing I thought when I saw this baby was, this thing is a mandrake from •Harry Potter that was dipped in acid. It was SO messed up and freaky. And to think this thing has been alive and an infant since 1926 is INSANE. This episode definitely freaked me out.

One thing I have to say is, what is going to happen to Gaga? Her last real ally, Liz, is now gone. She only barely has Will and her children. Will she get kicked out of the hotel or will her army of kids kill everyone? Only time will tell. Stay tuned!

Rating: 3.5/5




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