Abbi tries to make up for mistakes she made in high school, and Ilana finds an extremely valuable Beanie Baby.

When a person moves away from home for good, it is typical for them to use their old room as a storage space for all of the things they do not actually want but cannot bear throwing away. After awhile, their parents want to renovate their room into a guest room or, in Abbi (Abbi Jacobson’s) case, a sauna. Abbi and Ilana (Ilana Glazer) headed to the suburbs of Philadelphia this week on Broad City to clear out Abbi’s old room and attempt to tie up loose strings Abbi left behind when she moved away.

When Abbi’s dad is introduced, it is pretty obvious from whom she gets her, well, quirkiness. He meets the women at the train station and makes an “If I was 30 years younger,” joke, which Abbi calls creepy, however he was just saying, “We’d be best friends and hang out all the time.” He also went in with five of his friends on a nice sports car, which he calls a “timeshare.” Yeah, he is definitely related to Abby.

Ilana gets to see Abbi’s room for the first time and she cannot contain herself. To her, it’s like when a significant other takes a person home for the first time, and they get to see where the person they love grew up. Ilana says Abbi’s room is, “such an only child’s room,” and they find her old instruments and dreadlocks from high school, which Locks of Love rejected. Getting a glimpse in Abbi’s old room, it is extremely evident she went through a weird phase in high school and tried out a lot of different personalities, but hey who didn’t? It is a good thing she found Ilana, though, because they obviously are meant to be friends forever.

Ilana also finds an extremely valuable Beanie Baby which causes her to scream. Ilana, who is extremely knowledgeable about the Beanie Baby market, of course, is beside herself because she realizes how much money the Beanie Baby is worth. Everyone always did say that their old Beanie Babies would be worth big money some day, and Ilana has anxiously waited for this day.

Being in West Philadelphia is giving Ilana serious Will Smith vibes. She constantly talks throughout the episode about the fact that his “playground” mentioned in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song is totally around them somewhere and it’s her second mission (her first priority is to get rich off the Beanie Baby) to find his old house.

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Abbi also starts screaming because she discovers an envelope filled with $900 that she raised by hosting a dance-a-thon her senior year of high school for her old best friend who got hit by a bus. Abbi thinks she’s a terrible person and makes it her mission to find Alice Ackerman (Kelly Rohrbach) to give her the money because she’s “probably horribly misfigured.” The mishap with Alice’s fund money shows how Abbi is not really a full adult yet. She has always been sporadic and forgetful, but it’s OK because it makes for entertaining TV.

Abbi and Ilana drive — in a Jeep with no doors which freaks Ilana out so much that she wears a bike helmet — to Alice’s family’s old bowling alley. The man at the desk forces them to each buy $25 shoes to walk around the bowling alley, so they dip into Alice’s fund a little bit because they’re trying to help her out anyway. Abbi runs into a boy from high school named Carl Schiff (Evan Jonigkeit), who Abbi gave a horrible nickname in high school. She apologizes, and they make up by making out in the bowling alley locker room. Very high school. It turns out that Alice’s family doesn’t own the bowling alley anymore, and the Broad City women continue their hunt.

Abbi and Ilana endure a few more bumps in the road that include attempting to buy alcohol for underage kids in order to get a ride from them after their Jeep breaks down. Of course, they are met outside the liquor store by two police officers who let them off by just staring at them all the while driving away. Also, while drinking the $200 worth of liquor that they couldn’t return in the street, a dog runs up to them and takes Ilana’s prized Beanie Baby. They chase it all over the neighborhood before Ilana throws Abbi’s old dreadlock at it which the dog mistakes for meat. Given the luck these two usually have when weird mishaps such as this happen on the show, the fact that the dog actually dropped the Beanie Baby is a miracle in itself.  

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Finally, they make it to Alice’s house and they are preparing themselves to see a horribly disfigured human. However, Alice answers the door and looks like a beautiful model. They explain the situation and give her the money, but Alice realizes that the envelope is almost $500 short because they had to spend it on bowling shoes and liquor. Alice screams at Abbi, but Ilana, Abbi’s token defender, takes her friend’s side and gives Alice the Beanie Baby that is worth a fortune. To make matters worse, Alice’s boyfriend is Carl, who tells Alice about how he made out with Abbi earlier that day.

“Get your ass upstairs. This is your second strike today,” Alice tells her boyfriend and slams the door in Abbi’s and Ilana’s face.

In the end, Alice ended up with the Beanie Baby worth close to $13,000 and, as Abbi’s dad informs them over breakfast the next day, she lives in Will Smith’s mom’s old house. The Broad City girls should head back to the Big Apple ASAP because Philidelphia definitely is not for them.

Broad City airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m. on Comedy Central.


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