During Galt McDermot's 1967 rock opera Hair, chorus members made famous the lyrics, I want it long
straight curly fuzzy
snaggy
shaggy
ratty
matty ... There ain't no words for the beauty of my hair.
Nearly 40 years have passed since hair - predominantly the Afro - last bolstered the world of sports with follicular fortitude. Today, though, flowing manes, or some liberal interpretation therein, seem to be mounting an athletic comeback.
Red Sox centerfielder Johnny Damon, who reported to spring training with shoulder-length locks and a full beard, seems to be under the impression that the '60s counterculture movement never ended. But other athletes, including Nuggets forward Carmelo Anthony, have proved more forward-thinking regarding their coiffs.
Anthony, who wore a picked-out Afro before converting to the cornrow-and-headband combo, is one of approximately 846 NBAers who have shied from the barbershop since the most recent retirement of his (lack of) Hairness, Michael Jordan.
Pistons center Ben Wallace, another rather, um, well endowed 'baller, has so much hair, in fact, that he alternates between the 'Fro, the 'rows and a Motor City interpretation of dreadlocks, switching as often as twice a week.
Lest you think this revolution is limited to the professional ranks, look no farther than Ohio athletics. A glance at Bobcat rosters will reveal some of the most impressive hairstyles at any level.
Ohio men's basketball guard Diamond Gladney, for instance, routinely sports cornrows, but is rumored to possess an Afro worthy of ABA vintage. Gladney's former teammate, Marin Bota, forever an O- Zone favorite, wore a foot-long ponytail and a well-groomed beard before chopping the locks last summer.
Many swimmers, too, have always grown their hair during the season - all of their hair. But there is little appealing about a young woman with a fleece-covered leg.
The best Bobcat hair, however, might belong to the hockey team, Ohio's most recent national champion. By allowing their tresses to grow all the way to Ames, Iowa, those Bobcats embraced the mullet, a hairstyle long maligned north of the Mason-Dixon line.
Be it long, straight, curly or fuzzy, there just ain't no doing justice to those mullets, or any other cranium cast into sports' real mane event.
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Matt LaWell
