Hi. My name is Bryson Turner, and I'm lazy. It's something that I have had to deal with for as long as I can remember. Laziness is, at least in America, treated like a disease without a cure, and it's detested more than Carlos Boozer in Cleveland. Being lazy is the greatest way to waste skill, talent and time, according to popular opinion. I just can't figure out why.
Laziness isn't something to be ashamed of -in fact, it's quite the opposite. God wasn't resting on the seventh day -he was giving us the gift of laziness. This was the greatest of all his gifts, not including the women's volleyball team here at OU -home match next Friday, Sept. 24.
There are two kinds of laziness in my book, which I haven't gotten to writing yet. The first type is the bad kind -that which consumes someone. If you aren't like this, you know at least one person who is. Usually labeled as gifted and full of potential
these people are unable to complete any long-term goals, with long term being defined as anything beyond making themselves a sandwich. These people will often produce poorly written, pointless columns in college newspapers.
The second kind of laziness, however, is not only acceptable, but our entire reason for existence. Think about it. Every minute we work, it is so at some point, we won't have to. Weekends, vacations, retirement ... our ultimate goal as humans is to eliminate work.
Laziness, unfortunately, is something that has been misunderstood and feared for centuries. People in power -parents, professors and bosses -worry that if people realized how nice it is to be lazy, work ethics would disappear faster than Robert Downey Jr.'s willpower. Chores would be blown off, classes would be skipped and society would crumble.
If people acted out the first definition of lazy, this might be the case. And I will be the first to admit that some in our society have indeed taken being lazy much too far. Take, for instance, today's pop stars. Back in the 1960s and '70s, half the point of songs was the title. Musicians came up with meaningful titles such as Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds Stairway to Heaven and Won't Get Fooled Again. Now, Usher sits in a room with his writers and says, Hmmm ... How about 'Yeah?'
So what am I saying then? Should we just ignore our urges to hit life's snooze button when we don't feel like doing something? Or should we embrace the voices in our heads that tell us to make our lives an ongoing tribute to Office Space? To be completely honest, I'm not sure. I haven't really taken the time to think about it.
What I'm saying is there comes a time in life when, gosh darn it, it's OK to stop and smell the damn roses.
What's the point of someone sweating in the sweltering heat of a long summer day to tend a patch of roses if, at least one time, someone doesn't take a minute to breathe in their scent? And what's the point of a factory worker putting in overtime hours to make recliners if someone isn't going to pull that lever back and listen to Don't Worry Be Happy?
And what's the point of me writing a column if someone out there doesn't take 10 or 15 minutes to sit down, zone out and imagine what it would be like if everyone took a chill pill for one day?
I don't expect you to change your life after you read this column. All I'm asking is that you treat a nap like you would all of your other daily obligations ... as something that shouldn't be put off until tomorrow.
-Bryson Turner is a junior telecommunications major. Send him an e-mail at bt267202@ohiou.edu.
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