I was all ready to go with an amazing column this week -one that was funny, smart and inspiring all wrapped in one -but I decided to go with something completely different at the last minute. How can I prove that what I had in store for my seventh column was that good? Well, I guess you'll just have to trust me that it was different than the first six.
I have been put in this difficult position by the Boston Red Sox, a baseball team whose never-say-die attitude I can no longer ignore. Now, you wouldn't think a team named after an article of clothing would have much success in its history, and in the case of the Sox, you'd be right. For going on a century now, the Red Sox have done about as well in the playoffs as a Michael Jackson daycare center. They've been about as successful as The Keanu Reeves School of Acting. They've been as good as a Nascar fan's school of ... well, a Nascar fan's school. They've struggled -let's just leave it at that.
The last time the Sox won the World Series was 1918. To give you an idea of how long ago that was, back then the United States still considered involving the rest of the world in its post-war efforts. Yeah. It's been a while. Somehow, I doubt that Thomas R. Marshall proposed a 15th point to his president involving Halliburton. But if he did, kudos to Woodrow Wilson for having the foresight to go ahead and pass on it.
So 86 years. And counting. There are people who have seen Billie Holliday, The Beatles and John Tesh all perform live who haven't seen the BoSox win a title. To put it bluntly, that's wicked ritadded. Sadly, they won't now anyway, because they probably will have killed themselves after seeing John Tesh live, but I hope I've made my point.
The beauty of the happenings of this past week, however, were not just the eventual results, but the path the Red Sox took to get there. The Red Sox lost Saturday to the Yankees, 19-8. For those of you not familiar with the sport, baseball games are traditionally lower-scoring than football games. So that was pretty bad. On top of that, it put the Yankees up 3-0 in a best of seven series. No team in the history of baseball had ever, EVER came back to win after that.
And yet here you are, reading a quickly thrown together article about a Boston team that was tougher to finish off than the Mike Myers of Halloween fame.
Now perhaps you are not easily inspired, or at least not by athletic achievements, and I totally respect that. But there are two sides to this historic coin, and if the guts and resolve of the Red Stockings do not interest you, at the very least please join me in ridiculing the New York Yankees. To choke as no team has ever choked before, on such a large stage, is just as miraculous, entertaining and gratifying as anything the Sox will ever do. The Yankees as a team make nearly $200 million -about $7 million per year, per man -which you would think would be enough to show up at least one day out of four. But I do have some good news for you Yankees fans. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.
The Red Sox have not fully exorcised their demons yet. They beat the Yankees for the right to play in the World Series -they haven't won it yet. What does that mean? It means you still have a chance to see history made -the World Series begins this Saturday night. So if you get a chance, head over to a friend's house or a bar or a restaurant or anywhere -it's a great excuse to hang out and talk with people you might not have otherwise. An opiate for the masses perhaps -but for at least one night, finally, the Red Sox provided one heck of a high.
-Bryson Turner is a junior telecommunications major. Send him an
e-mail at bryson.turner@ohiou.edu.
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Bryson Turner
