It's over. You are officially done, and now you are sitting in your room thinking about how you are going to continue breathing without him or her. You go to your refrigerator and grab the pint of Phish Food ice cream, curl up on your bed, put in A Walk to Remember and wallow in your own heartbreak. Sometimes this wallowing can go on for days, weeks even. Well, it's time to pick up the pieces and stop feeling sorry for yourself. It's time to move on and continue living life. Now is the perfect time to look back on your relationship and realize why it didn't work, make some changes and jump back into the game.
The endings of significant relationships are sometimes the hardest things we go through. Losing a friend in any form is tough, but watching someone you loved more than anything slip from your fingertips is extremely disheartening. Friendships are wonderful. They are built from just specks of curiosity and can grow to become another complete part of you. Friendship never really ends. Sure, it can weaken, or circumstances can work against you in some way, but the bond that friendships grow is an everlasting one. It seems to me the only relationships with a significant beginning and ending are the ones involving romance.
Romantic relationships just stop. They leave you hanging there in the middle of a heartbeat. In my experience, the wonder and amazement that may have taken place during the months that you share with someone who completes you at that moment is shattered the minute that you say goodbye. We all say that we can be friends after a break up, and we talk about it during our relationships (like we plan on it not working) -Our breakup will not be messy; we will always be friends. Then suddenly you haven't talked in two weeks and a glance on the street brings you to tears.
Who really knows why relationships end? What makes your heart not beat faster in the presence of that loved one, or when does the thought of that person stop making you smile? Why has God blessed us with this amazing emotion, this ability to give ourselves to people, if only to have the feeling
be unreliable?
The answer lies in the journey of life. We are all searching for that one person that has been put here on earth to fill the other part of our souls. Going through different experiences with others is a way of forming the right mind-set so you can find your perfect half. In my analysis of these in-between relationships, I've found that there is always a lover and a loved. The lover cannot dream of having to live outside a world without the loved, and the loved, well, can. When a breakup comes, the lover is bitter and heartbroken, while the loved is sad but able to move on. Our in-between relationships often are so uneven with emotions that someone always loves more or less.
Don't get discouraged, however. I'll share a secret with you: I've heard in fairy tales that when you meet the person that you were meant to be with, time stops. Picture the part of the movie Big Fish
where Eddie sees Sandra at the carnival and he walks through the suspended popcorn. Yeah, that's how it is.
No breakup is the end of the world -there is so much more in store for each of us as we continue to create our own destinations. Sure, breakups are little bumps, or sometimes canyons, in the path of life, but eventually we all get through them. We hit the stages of denial, hurt and hate, but ultimately you can see that there is someone better and more suitable for you out in the world. Keep living life and wait for the moment that takes your breath away. If you embrace life for everything it is, then when you meet the person of your dreams they will add decorations. Don't let someone become your life; let them decorate it. We are not the person we are dating, but we are merely sharing our lives with someone. Make sure your life is something you want to share.
So put the ice cream away, shut off the Boyz II Men, get dressed and go outside. Smile and be thankful for how wonderful you are, and how blessed you are to have shared a part of you with someone. Hold on to those memories and get ready to dive in again.
-Alex Jabs is a sophomore English major. Send her an e-mail at alexandra.jabs@ohiou.edu 17
Archives
The Post Editorial Board
