You know you are a lockout-depressed hockey fan as spring draws closer and the biggest news on
NHL.com is not trade deadline rumors, but that the FleetCenter -home of the Boston Bruins and Celtics -will not be called Derek Jeter Center.
Like many arenas across the nation, the void in the event schedule because of the NHL lockout has left many rink owners trying to figure out what to do with themselves when Sesame Street on Ice gets old.
The FleetCenter public relations folks had the genius idea of auctioning off on eBay the right to name the building for a day.
Their faces must have been red when the winning bid turned out to be from New York attorney Kerry Konrad, who bid $2,325 to name the building after Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter.
Ignoring the obvious that Curt Schilling should have paid a chunk of change immediately to secure the name 'A-Rod is Bush League' Arena
FleetCenter officials dismissed Konrad's submission, claiming it was vulgar and thus making it a violation of the contest's rules.
Derek Jeter is vulgar? I think I'm in heaven.
The world of sports is a magical place and I love that four-letter words associated with fornicating or defecating have less impact than if Derek Jeter was uttered in a downtown Boston bar without the assistance of expletives. Here's an example:
Bostonite: Hey you're in my seat man! I watch every Sox game of the season on that bar stool so you'd better move it or lose it!
New Yorker: %$@ you
man! I've had a long &%*@$ day so $@@% off and let me watch the &%$@#$ Yankees play!
Bostonite: Wait
you're a Yankees fan?
New Yorker: @%$ yeah
&%@$! Derek Jeter is $&@ amazing!
After the tear gas and baton clubbing associated with most riots, a police officer reports to his superior.
Commissioner: So what happened
Johnson? Typical drunken violence I suppose?
Officer Johnson: No
sir. It seems that some out of town fellow said that Jeter is a good ball player.
Commissioner: Oh ... my ... God!
All right, I might have exaggerated a little bit, but you get the idea. Only the world of sports can turn a player's name into a blasphemous offense to the hometown sports religion.
Not to Jeter this up, but that's pretty darn cool.
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