Over the course of nine weeks I have claimed to be many things: a linguistic deviant, a restaurant aficionado, clueless about films and anti-Wal-Mart. Maybe you didn't trust me on any of those, but now's the time to start believing. If there's one thing I am, it's that I'm hopelessly addicted to candy.
I'm not alone with my sweet tooth. In 2003, Americans consumed 24.6 pounds of candy per capita. That's about one-sixth of my weight or equivalent to the weight gain of a pregnant woman in her seventh month of pregnancy. I'm convinced my personal consumption would swing this figure higher -just take a look at my trash can.
Lately, my candy binges have focused on chocolate. The treat ranges back to the ancient Olmecs in present-day Mexico. When the Spaniards invaded Aztec country in 1519, they had their first drink of chocolate. The popular bar form we enjoy today wasn't introduced until 1847. Unlike most cocoa connoisseurs who tout Belgian chocolates and rich, dark bars, I don't wanna eat any of these. I prefer the quintessential American version: Hershey's. In 1894, Milton Hershey first began enrobing his caramels in milk chocolate and the brand was born. The classic foil wrapper with a dark brown sleeve was parodied for party favors, baby announcements and packed in U.S. Army D-Rations.
When the company changed the wrapper in 2003 for a tamper-proof, high-gloss alternative, the entire personalized wrapper industry had to shift gears. Two years later, I'm still not used to the change. But this is what happens in the candy industry -products change, come and go, some more obvious than others.
Steve Almond's 2004 release, Candyfreak: A Journey Through the Chocolate Underbelly of America, chronicles the pain of small, family-owned confectioners who can't compete with companies like Hershey's. Some are still hanging on, like the Idaho Spud, the Valomilk and the Goo Goo Cluster. Never heard of these? I hadn't either. Our generation is a product of The Big Three. Hershey's, Nestlé and Mars Inc. are the world's top three candy moguls, owning among them most of the candy bars shelved at your local supermarket. From Twizzlers to Butterfinger, M&M's to Almond Joy, they've won the candy market through mass production. They also can afford to pay the high stocking price to put their products on the shelves -something local confectioners can't afford.
The history of chocolate is ending here, where regional sweets are being replaced with national favorites doled out in handfuls in October. (That aside, Halloween has never been the same since I outgrew trick-or-treating. It's not that I was tired of it -I simply became too tall. There comes a point when a 14-year-old must admit defeat with an empty pillowcase. As a fellow candyfreak, it was one of the saddest days of my life.)
I've watched as The Big Three struggle to keep up with America's candy maturation. While I wish I had refined taste buds like Steve Almond, I have to settle for what's available to cure my insatiable sugar fix. New confections don't hit the market these days; they simply change color. Kit-Kat and Nestle Crunch recently went white and almonds have become the new peanut, making a cameo in Snickers.
These new candy bars, as far as I can tell, are marketed for corporate employees whose attention spans must be refueled between meetings by a Snickers, Pay Day or TAKE 5. Hershey's newest product, the TAKE 5, is composed of pretzels, caramel, peanuts and peanut butter all smothered in milk chocolate. Hershey's Milk Chocolate Bar just isn't cutting it anymore; the sophisticated adult palette requires at least five tastes and a name sure to confuse any 5-year-old.
I don't know about you, but any candy bar that requires three adjectives to describe its flavor -delicious salty sweet -is where I draw the line.
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