(U-WIRE) -Americans are obsessed with news. Everywhere one looks, it's news, news, news. Yet somehow it's not the ongoing war in Iraq, the Sudanese genocide or the failing economy. It's the Michael Jackson trial and Desperate Housewives. Why should we care what Britney Spears names her baby? Why should we care about why Brad and Jen broke up? More importantly, why do we care?
Watch CNN for about ten minutes, and you'll find that after you hear about the new Pope, they'll switch gears to a big story about J-Lo or some other entertainment star.
Watch ESPN's Pardon the Interruption
and one will get to hear what the two hosts think Britney Spears should name her baby. If all this isn't enough for you, just turn to the E! Channel. On E!, all they talk about is entertainment news. That is if it even qualifies as news. They have a daily re-enactment of what happened during the Michael Jackson trial and countless shows about nothing but gossip.
Being charged with child molestation is serious business, but just because it's the King of Pop doesn't mean it's any more newsworthy than John Doe.
Most people will point at the media and say they are the ones shoving all this down our collective throats. But they wouldn't show it if we didn't watch it. So why do we deem it necessary to find out where Cameron Diaz and Johnny Depp go shopping?
We want to be like them, that's why. Better yet, we want to be them. They're rich, famous and beautiful, and we're not. So if a famous person buys Prada and Gucci, then you must buy Prada and Gucci.
If you dress and act like Brad Pitt, without cheating on her, you could get Jennifer Aniston to date you. If Britney Spears names her baby Gertrude, then you should name your first-born Gertrude.
Without television, movie and pop stars, how would we know how to fix our hair? Would we be able to know what is cool to wear? How would we find out what married couples are supposed to be like?
Thankfully MTV has helped us out with that last question. For any couples out there wondering what married life and parenting is supposed to be like, MTV has provided us with Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica and Meet the Barkers. Because everyone knows they live perfect, wonderful lifestyles.
Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson are the perfect little couple that got this whole genre of television started. Travis Barker, the drummer for punk band Blink-182, and Shanna Moakler, a former Miss USA, show us how to get wasted one night and still be perfect parents the next.
MTV is also the station that blessed us with The Osbournes which was really just a tribute to how many times Ozzy Osbourne can say the f-word.
Don't forget Ashton Kutcher and his friends. There's nothing like watching famous people get Punk'd.
In the long run, it seems we need famous people. We need them to point out all that we are not. We also need them to distract us from the real world. Gosh! It's almost time for E! True Hollywood Story: Steve Guttenberg. Got to go!
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