They say there are two kinds of people in this world: pessimists and optimists. Those who think the glass is half empty and those who think it's half full. Those who think George W. Bush is half stupid and those who think he's half smart. As for myself, I have struggled with pessimism for most of my life. Sometimes, I think I'll never overcome it. The appeal of pessimism is that it protects me from failure. If I think I'm going to fail and then I do, I can't be disappointed.
But I know I shouldn't be afraid of failure. As the DARE drug dealer says: everybody's doing it. It's just that as I graduate from college and go out into the real world, the price of failure seems a bit more costly. In college, if I failed a class, I could always retake it. In the real world, I can't retake a job or a marriage. What if I go out into the real world, and I become (gasp) a failure.
I think we all have a fear of becoming a failure. But what does that even mean? The word failure comes to us from the business world. It means that you went bankrupt. But in the 19th century, the word was applied to other parts of people's lives until someone could actually be a failure, with worthlessness as a personal identity. I'm not smart or anything, I just read a book called Born Losers: A History of Failure in America.
Like any person, I don't want to be worthless, and yet I fail every day. And because I'm a pessimist, I emphasize my failures more than my successes -It wears me down. So I've come up with several different ways to combat failure fatigue.
First, I realize that failure is all relative. One man's failure is another man's not too shabby. For example, both my parents and my teacher called me a failure when I failed my Chemistry 152 final. But little did they know, the night before the test, I was revered by dozens of my peers for my beerpong prowess. Am I a success or a failure? Depends on whom you ask. Hence, failure relativity.
My second method involves the phrase at least. So I failed a test. At least I was there on time. So I was 30 minutes late for a test that I failed; at least I showed up. So I never showed up for a test that I failed; at least I got nine hours of sleep. It involves looking on the bright side of life, no matter how dim that brightness may be. It's not necessarily optimism because your standards for the at least are so low.
Another method is to just replace a failure with a success. It's not I failed to go to Ping today. Rather, it's I succeeded in sitting on my couch and watching 'Guiding Light.' It's not I failed to not write the previous sentence. It's I succeeded in telling the world that I occasionally watch soap operas.
However, these methods can only last so long until you realize that they're stupid. So my main method of overcoming failure is the classic try and try again. The road to success is paved with failure, so they say. Mike Tyson's Punch Out wasn't beaten in a day. But this is the scariest part. The problem with failure is you can always try again, without the assurance that you should. Of course, some hints that you should stop trying include: a restraining order, if you have your own reality TV show or if your name is Jennifer Lopez. But most of us don't have these hints.
Some of the most successful and interesting people have endured years of failure. In fact, the most successful people are just losers who had freak accidents. They take the biggest chances, not knowing if their efforts will ever ripen into success. That's why we're so fascinated with them. They could just as easily become failures. And when they forget this fact, they become arrogant and boring.
Meanwhile, the failure is always more interesting. This is where people can be honest. An older actor friend of mine who never made it
who is what some would call a failure, told me that there is freedom in failure. The pressure is off. You can focus on where you are instead of where you're going, which is probably the greatest success of all.
So maybe I shouldn't be so afraid of failure. During the writing of this column, I was afraid of failing at writing a column about failure. But then I realized: that's impossible.
-Brian Trapp is a senior specialized studies major. Send him an e-mail at bt322701@ohiou.edu 17
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