To begin this week's drooling, I would like to issue two apologies: one to any disappointed readers last week and the other to some guys in a Jeep Wrangler.
First off, if my stance on the soap box was a let down, I have a proposal that might cheer some of you up. I wrote an alternate column you can receive by requesting through e-mail or leaving a message for me on www.thefacebook.com.
This is the first time I have not received comments, hate mail, flowers or date offers after marking a new drool spot. If it were not for these ego boosters, my pampered college life would lack meaning.
With that out of the way, I would now like to apologize to some guys in a Jeep Wrangler. While you were idling in a driveway, I was riding in a Wrangler that sped past you, shouting, Our Jeep is better. At the time, I thought it was a swell idea, but as I reflect with some new cultural knowledge, I regret my barking. I was unaware that my driver is part of your tightly knit secret society -do not frown upon her.
During a trip home from a keg purchase, I noticed my driver give a little hand lift from the wheel any time another Wrangler passed us. Unbeknownst to me, ladies and gentlemen, owners of the ubiquitous SUV practice a Jeep wave. The secret society of Wrangler owners acknowledge their brotherhood with an affirming wave on the road.
This might not be news to some, but it shocked me. At first I hated the idea and made fun of my driver. Sometimes I loathe riding around with her because there are so many damn Jeeps in this town. It is as though some of us get computers for graduation and some get Jeeps.
Then came the acceptance stage, and not long after that I decided my car needs a friendly wave. If I cannot afford a Jeep to join their secret gesturing society and be really cool with my top down, then I am creating my own society.
Be on the lookout, my fellow Dodge Intrepid owners, because I am unveiling the Intrepid wave
the next big cultural phenomenon that perhaps someday an inquisitive journalist can trace back to Athens.
For those unsure what intrepid means, it has dual definitions. The first translation is fearless -how gangster is that? I'm surprised more rappers do not drive these ruthless rides. Once this wave catches on, I think it fair to assume Xzibit and his boys at West Coast Customs will stop pimping Hondas and let a real ride get some bling.
The second denotation it holds is more specific to the car type. Dodge Intrepid translates to a car the elderly purchase when they cannot afford a Benz or Beamer yet still want a slick car.
I inherited my Intrepid from my grandparents, and now, with allegiance to the geriatrics of America, we shall form a secret society more powerful than the Skull & Bones and Opus Dei combined. Our wave will signify an unbreakable bond of trust, liberty and middle class wealth.
So the next time I'm in my beloved Intrepid, bumping Gwen Stefani, I'll be on the lookout for my fellow Intrepidans to give me the wave. Just thinking about the future of this wave has me oozing with joy. This wave is truly B-A-N-A-N-A-S.
-Gillespie is a junior creative writing major. Send him an e-mail at bg186203@ohiou.edu.
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Blake Gillespie
