Last weekend, Ohio University students had the opportunity to show the country that their school truly is the best when it comes to the only thing college students actually care about - partying.
We failed.
With only 128 arrests during our biggest party weekend of the year, we fell far behind No. 1 - University of Wisconsin-Madison had 447.
How can we exceed our expectations and become the undisputed No. 1 party school in the country if Wisconsin had more than three times the arrests we did?
I'm sure our crowd was smaller, too. Officers in Madison estimated about 100,000 people joined in the celebration of costumes and tear gas. Don't blame our small crowd on the cold weather - we're competing with Wisconsin. With numbers like that, we will remain at No. 2. Maybe even drop to No. 5 again.
According to an Oct. 31 article in the Badger Herald, Madison Mayor Dave Cieslewicz said, When we spend approximately $350
000 when 447 people are arrested when detox is filled
we can't characterize this as a successful event.
Only to you, Mayor Cieslewicz. We here at OU strive for that level of debauchery. Too bad Halloween was tame this year.
I guess I'm not surprised, though. Maybe it was because this was my fourth Halloween at OU. Maybe it was because I surrendered my basic motor skills to Nati Light for the evening. Maybe it was because OU President Roderick McDavis' e-mail about acting responsibly talked some sense into our distinguished classmates.
Survey results show that Halloween in Athens was a disappointment this year. I took this scientific survey myself by asking a few of my friends what they thought about the evening's festivities. In fact, my survey was just as scientific as The Princeton Review
which is what ranked OU at No. 2 - behind Wisconsin - in the only poll that actually matters when high school seniors are searching for colleges.
The results of my survey: not very creative costumes, not very many people on Court Street and not enough beer at the party I attended. The hosts only bought 10 cases of the golden liquid fine enough for the crunk gods. With 40 attendants, there were only six beers for each guest. I'm sure our peers in Madison were downing six beers each hour. How can we increase enrollment if we have no chance of winning a case race with our biggest competition?
We have been embarrassed by a weekend for which this college town on the Hocking is known, and only the OU students can make up for what they did not accomplish during Halloween. The City of Madison has discussed cancelling its Halloween celebration, but we can't wait until then to prove to the world that we know how to party.
I have heard many crunked-out students make promises between taking Jell-O shots and doing keg stands that someday OU will don the gold medal of party schools. We need to show those Badgers that the Bobcats booze it up better and claim the top spot that is rightfully ours, and we need to start now.
We should go out every night this weekend. Don't worry about the slowly dropping temperature. Just put on your beer coat before you leave. It's practically a theory of relativity - the more beers you drink, the less layers of clothing you have to wear.
But the partying doesn't stop because the weekend does. We probably should party every night of the week if we want to move up to No. 1. The weekend might start on Thirsty Thursday here in Athens because no one goes to Friday classes, but we can't forget about Messed-up Monday, Tipsy Tuesday and Wobbly Wednesday.
Worried about attending classes hungover? Confucius say the best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk, so put some vodka in that Nalgene bottle, climb Morton Hill and spend the next hour thinking about what the next drink will be.
Let's show Wisconsin who truly is the No. 1 party school: Raise a Solo cup of your favorite crunk juice at a crunkfest and get crunked!
- Cheryl Sadler is a senior journalism major and a Post copy editor. If you want to get crunked with her this weekend, send her an e-mail at cs334202@ohiou.edu.
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Cheryl Sadler
