I was sitting in my apartment Saturday evening, enjoying the cool breeze from outside until I realized my window was closed. And so were my blinds. And my curtains.
Oh, off-campus housing in Athens, how I adore thee.
The joys of being a college student in a small town and living off campus were further proved to me later Saturday night when I went to a friend's house, which could best be described as slanty. A gap in the foundation allows the house to, in the words of Fat Joe, lean back.
I have become jealous of those who still live in dorms. I would never want to give up having my own room, a clean shower and the luxury of cooking something that isn't microwave-only, but it would be pretty nice to go without the worries of off-campus housing - which aren't limited to remembering to pay my bills every month.
The only thing underclassmen don't fear is that they won't be able to find someone to buy them beer for the weekend. Upperclassmen fear the floors in their off-campus housing will crumble under the weight of all the kegs and crunked-up students.
Why do we put up with it?
Because we are college students, which by definition means we are lazy and don't care enough about anything - other than drinking - to actually do something about our less-than-perfect situations.
We spend the first half of our college careers complaining about the dorm rooms, and we spend the second half complaining about the inefficiency of our big kid houses.
We put up with three blown fuses in one day and that funky smell coming up from the basement because it flooded last quarter.
We spend two years sharing rooms that are too small for one person and two years settling into houses that are structurally challenged.
We complain about the price of books and parking tickets, and we drop $100 on alcohol for one weekend.
We spend $200 a year on parking permits and $200 a year on parking tickets and $200 a quarter on fast food Uptown - well, if you work at The Post.
We spend money when we have it and are a huge source of revenue for a city that thinks we are loud, messy, irresponsible alcoholics, with no respect for anyone or anything, including ourselves.
We know smoking is bad for us, but we are going to quit on graduation day. Not to mention our alcoholism, which is slowly pickling a generation of livers.
We search through random groups on Facebook and watch reruns of Full House
Saved by the Bell and I Love the '80s instead of studying.
We pull all-nighters before tests to learn everything we should have been paying attention to during the previous few weeks.
We know everything about politics because we took Political Science 101 - the equivalent to a high school government class.
We grow accustomed to the expedited digestive process the dining hall gives us so that our bodies have trouble adjusting when we start eating real food again.
We have a renewed love for macaroni and cheese, peanut butter and jelly, Poptarts and anything that is microwavable- even food you never knew could be microwavable before you came to college, such as chicken.
We never run out of reasons to celebrate and can turn anything into a drinking game - including the President's State of the Union Address.
We use Febreze as laundry detergent, which especially comes in handy when you need to do laundry and the water in the building is temporarily shut off three out of four days in a row for up to eight hours a day.
We are living off our parents' money or student loans, so we accept things the way they are. If we wanted to solve any of these issues, we would organize a protest, stopping our normal activities to gather together and stick it to the man by whining a lot until the man listens to us.
But we are college students, so by definition we are too lazy to try to effect real change.
Besides, another episode of Full House is about to start.
- Cheryl Sadler is a senior journalism major. Send her an e-mail at cs334202@ohiou.edu 17
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Cheryl Sadler
