They have determination; I'll give them that.
Yes, with the recent announcement of a study commissioned to investigate a class scheduling shift, it seems President Roderick McDavis and Provost Kathy Krendl are still on a mission to clutter our weekends up with more of that fancy book-learnin' in order to keep us away from the devil liquid on Thursday nights.
I'm sure any professors who currently lack Friday classes to teach are just champing at the bit to trudge up the hill or do the parking-meter shuffle one more day a week. Morton Hill during April showers
what a delight! is what they'll probably be saying. Still, I have to ask: Do they really expect this to work? At all?
Not that I'm worried, of course, because I face no personal danger from this possible development. As a senior who has fulfilled all his graduation requirements and will be free in his last quarter from the dreaded 16-credit hour scholarship requirement, I plan to spend the spring perfecting my two-hammer offense in not one but both sections of Ultimate Frisbee being offered (Tuesdays and Thursdays, 2-3 and 3-4). Heck, If I'm feeling particularly motivated on scheduling day, maybe I'll sign up for bowling as well.
Still, I think the plan is folly. To make my point, I chose to adapt a famous poem, because a) it is of a fantastical subject matter, which would fit the mindset of anyone who thinks the plan is feasible and b) rhyming is fun.
I decided to tweak a few lines and the meter, however, because rhyming is also hard. So here's the poem already.
Thursday Con
From Cutler Hall did Rowdy Rod
A longer week for all decree
And on the river Hocking
Did come this endless balking
More Friday class for me?
With Thirsty Thursday disallowed
And revelers by learning cowed
Would Athens' law enforcement bills
(Breathalyzers are not free)
decrease by lessening student swills
Making OU a Yale to-be?
Both feet on brass at five are planted
For collegiate liquor lovers
Not easily is that recanted
Nor's deference so eas'ly granted
For beer we'd tread upon our mothers
So such decrees left us hard-breathing
And many clever schemes a-weaving
For trying such a plan to thwart
Giving ole' Rod a sound retort
To show him that we will not fail
Oft' nightly to imbibe some ale
Still for that aim Cutler endeavored
A change to come by fine Spring weather
Apparently absent the notion
That with Thursday parties in the can
For Tipsy Tuesday we would stand
To seek spirits in frothy potion
We will stagger near and far
No matter which the night or bar
The shift Rod had upon his ledger
Unto we'd not be slaves
Stop at the Buzz by any measure
Was a better campaign
For presidents should not suffice
Ideas so na+ 17
Archives
Noah Blundo
