Temperatures are rising slightly, classes are feeling like more of a drag than usual and sorority girls are sun-burning themselves brighter red than fire engines, all of which can only mean one thing: spring break is just around the corner.
Not long from now, students will board airplanes or fill rental vans and make for the coast in search of sandy beaches and margarita specials. However, despite the draw of the warmer climate, not all of us are headed off to become background footage in the next edition of Girls Gone Wild.
There are many reasons not to venture south for spring break, including: lack of funds; lack of motivation; and lack of a third example to make this argument more convincing. But whatever your justification for shying away from the beaches, there are other options. Here are some alternative destinations I'd like to suggest so that you don't have to spend all of your spring break on the couch: Going to the easy chair: This is right next to the couch. It's not necessarily any better, but when you're eating meals consisting entirely of microwaveable French Toast sticks because you were too lazy to go to the grocery store, you'll decrease your chance of choking on them by actually sitting up rather than lying down.
Going to the Dentist: Thus far, this is my only planned destination for spring break, and I actually look forward to it. Though my enrollment in college has since precluded me from getting my picture on the Cavity Free Kids bulletin board, the dentist's office is still enjoyable because to good ole' Dr. Moats, everything is great. He always tells me that my teeth, my life and generally everything I have done since my last visit are great at least 30 times in the 10 minutes we spend together after the hygienist has finished the cleaning.
On that Thursday of break, I will enter his office with serious doubts about my character and no knowledge of where life will lead me when I graduate in four months, but when I leave, he will have assured me that I am the most sterling human being on the planet, and that I am destined for greatness. To enhance the visit, maybe I'll request the pineapple toothpaste and pretend it's a pi+
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Noah Blundo
