Dear politicians to evangelism,
Let the religious man with the leather cap, tight-fitting pants and holy water backpack be. He will call you sinners. He will call you hellbound. He will shout forever.
You, on the other hand, will not shout forever, because you're not committed to anything but mockery or highfalutin statements thrown on clogged ears. Do the loose words from half-baked thought really have impact? I'd say no, considering he has been here long before you decided today was the day to school a fanatic. Sorry, he will be here when you leave after your four-year vacation.
They can't hear you, by the way; that wasn't just a joke. It is like telling someone having a seizure to get off the floor before they spill something on the carpet. Speaking of spills, the pie was a nice touch; the remains and non-biodegradable aluminum tray look good next to your cigarette butts.
Face it, he is going to tell you it's a sin for women to not be in the kitchen, for anyone to be gay or to masturbate. Instead of imitating his shouts with rookie quips, you cute little mirror, why not work on that higher education so you don't have to rely on a man's income, join an organization in effort to legalize gay marriage and punish your genitals like the rest of us? Deep down, that could potentially break his spirits much more than naively joining his batty College Green assembly.
Now, go out there and be somebody with some sense!
Blake Gillespie is a senior creative writing major.
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Letter to the Editor
