To our fellow academics: our long plagiarism nightmare is over. Some are worried about plagiarism in the Russ College of Engineering and Technology, but we beg you to worry no more. The solution has come: an honor code.
Student and faculty honor councils in the Russ College have chosen to halt the spread of plagiarism, a debilitating educational disease, where it starts. The signing of the honor code will take place from 4:10 to 5 p.m. today in the Stocker Center lobby on West Green, according to a university release.
As stated in the release, the honor code will allow the Russ College to join an elite number of individual colleges with their own honor codes. The ceremonious signing of the honor code and statements of responsibility will be accompanied by short speeches. Refreshments will be served following the signing; students without prior engagements should stop by for free punch.The honor code will be able to remedy what education and discipline cannot. Why take care to teach students proper research techniques when you have their signatures on a piece of paper? Why punish those who plagiarize, when it is so much more effective simply to have everyone promise it will never happen again? This foolproof measure will ensure that academic dishonesty in all its forms will never, ever, ever happen again.
While the release fails to mention whether or not the signing of this honor code is compulsory for the students in the college of engineering, it should be safe to assume that the honorable students and faculty will sign without having to be asked. Those who fail to do so will know who they are and will surely be ridiculed by friends and colleagues. Their sense of shame will be so overwhelming that they will be compelled to sign out of sheer self-hatred. Those who fail to sign and feel no such emotions will expose themselves as soulless, dishonorable fiends deserving of contempt and public humiliation.
This honor code is an excellent way to lay down the law ' a shot of academic honesty in the arm of the filthy, cheating masses. Indeed, its effect should be similar to that of being bludgeoned with a brick made of pure truth. Efforts this comprehensive and flawless are rare ' except, of course, at Ohio University, where we see such monumental greatness on a regular basis. Students would do well to attend this historic event and applaud this magnificent undertaking that promises to stamp out all academic dishonesty in the future of this university.
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Of course, signatures will fix plagiarism!
