I live my life by few rules. It's the only way to be totally awesome in today's society, after all. One of the rules I do tend to follow, however, is One should never consume meat prepared in a Car Trailer painted to make it look like a For-Reals Restaurant. It's a rule that's worked pretty well for me so far.
In light of the recent swine flu scare, I decided to test my immune system - which I'm becoming more and more certain is made of stronger stuff than it probably is - and see if I can make it reach a breaking point without getting sick. What better place to test it than on the two most nefarious of mobile meat stands in Uptown Athens: Ali Baba's gyro stand and the Burrito Buggy.
ALI BABA'S: Deliciosity Quotient - 4.5/5.
Ali Baba's was a welcome surprise. Usually when I see a leg of lamb spitted and standing in front of a device appearing to generate a wall of fire, that kicks on a warning light in my head. Luckily, I was sorting out bills when they cut my pieces of meat off the hunk, so I didn't see The Separation.
The other ingredients tasted very fresh, except for the yogurt sauce, which I'm not sure ever tastes fresh. It's an enigma in the international food community, living in a dead space between Delicious Compliment and Kind of Funky Condiment.
Despite the looks, the gyro (supreme gyro with everything on it) was pretty damn tasty. Not the best gyro I've ever had, but by no means a bad gyro or even a mediocre gyro. Pricing may be a little steep at five dollars, but I suppose that cart is probably a gas guzzler.
The dish was also quite well put together, to the point that only a single, small piece of lettuce fell out while I was walking around eating it. That's rare for any fast food establishment, much less one with no architectural establishment to speak of.
THE BURRITO BUGGY: Deliciosity Quotient - 4/5.
Burrito Buggy was also quite unexpectedly good. I say unexpectedly both because of its status as a mobile meat cookery and because I'm generally not a fan of burritos anywhere but Chipotle and home.
I ordered the beef supreme burrito, which was pretty close to what I make for myself when it's burrito time. No refried beans, though. If I wanted to eat spackling paste, I'd eat spackling paste.
The Buggy
as it's colloquially known to only me, failed a little bit in the portability section of the complex mathematical equation that results in the Deliciosity Quotient (copyright Nick Philpott, 2009). Its failure there may be attributable to me, however. I had them package it to go, and I'm fairly sure I opened it at the bottom and started eating toward the top.
Result: jalapeñoey burrito juice on my white shoes.
Upside: free jalapeños on any burrito (and I assume taco) at The Buggy. Not due to my shoes getting stained, it's just something they do that's pretty cool.
Both food service stations were equal in pricing. A gyro and a burrito were both $4.50. And in today's wintry economic climate, $4.50 is a pretty sweet deal for a filling meal-on-the-go. (See also: $4.50 Chinese)
So, fellow Athenians and Bobcats: Should your intestines tremble at the thought of eating at the Burrito Buggy or Ali Baba's, fear not! They will not adversely affect you, unless you count being deluged by deliciocity as an adverse effect.
Nick Philpott is a junior studying playwriting and a columnist for The Post. Send him some burritos and gyros at np714907@ohiou.edu 4
Opinion
Nick Philpott
