Alexander Marietta's Top 5 Items That Should Be Taxed Before Cigarettes:
Pop - Almost everyone consumes this sugary concoction of syrup and soda. It rots teeth and causes diabetes. Make the soda drinks pay for health care.
Really nice cars - Maybe if the government bumped the taxes on Bentley, Ferrari, Lamborghini and Maserati, we would have a little more money in our coffers.
Magnets - If you really think about it, magnets are scary things. I mean, how do they get so attractive? I understand they're magnetic, but what does that mean? I think it's the devil's work. Tax 'em.
Arnold Palmer - Not the beverage, the golfer. I think he can afford shelling out a few extra clams for the greater good. He's already done enough damage, littering convenience stores with his filth he passes off as a beverage.
Beer - I'm joking. Why would you ever want to make beer more expensive? If anything, it should be administered in large free rations from the government on a daily basis.
3 Culture
