In Friday's edition of The Post, we saw the last of this quarter's batch of aspiring pundits, Kevin Zieber's Truth In Subtext column. In his print debut, Zieber made the asinine argument that all political hate comes from the Republican Party, and his team is as innocent as the eight pound, three ounce, blond-haired Baby Jesus. I must admit that while Zieber's Grizzly Adams beard is quite intimidating, his attempts at running intellectual interference for liberal pundits are not.
As a quick aside, it's been said by some that a good number of liberals don't believe in a God, but they do believe in a Devil, and his name is Rush Limbaugh.
Writing about Limbaugh's recent hospitalization for chest pains, Zieber makes the claim that to (his) knowledge
there have been no death wishes bestowed upon Limbaugh from leaders considered to be on the left contrary to what those uncivilized and mouth-breathing conservative liars may say.
It is entirely possible that Zieber fell asleep in Journalism 233 and forgot how to use Google, because a basic Google search reveals many liberal opinion-makers wishing that their archnemesis, Rush Limbaugh, died of complications during his recent stay in the hospital in late December.
Leading liberal opinion Web site CrooksAndLiars.com posted that, A new year without some trash like Limbaugh would be OK with me! This is one case where I don't really care about being bigger than the other person. Screw Rush Limbaugh. DemocraticUnderground.com, in its infinite liberal tranquility, said, Come on you fat druggie let your corpulent body join your morals
in hell. You fat fraud. But let's not confuse Zieber with the facts.
However, it is a scientific fact that ironic hipster flannel massively deforms the fabric of space-time - creating a pocket universe around the wearer - so it's understandable that Zieber would leave out the parts of the story that don't support his thesis that Republicans are bilious hellspawn.
Zieber's flannel-induced, reality-warping symptoms are not an anomaly, but just another data point in the trend line that suggests that the once center-right Post is drunkenly lurching to the ideological left, the refuge of those unwilling to critically think about commonly held assertions.
So crack open a Pabst Blue Ribbon, Zieber. There's a bright future full of spinning news and willful ignorance of reality ahead of you, on MSNBC's nighttime lineup. If you play your cards right, you can score a date with that liberal hottie, Janeane Garofalo.
Jesse Hathaway is a senior studying English and former Post columnist.
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