Dear PillowTalk,
I was introduced to a girl in my dorm last quarter. I am attracted to her and we get along well, but she moves slowly with guys. I learned from her friends she had a bad experience with an aggressive boyfriend in high school.
Things have been going well, but recently I went to a party with her. Regrettably, I showed up wearing sweatpants, and at one point during the night, my imagination ran wild and my attraction to her became visual. I'm sure she noticed, and ever since, things have been awkward. I don't know what I should say to her considering her sensitivity to the subject and given her bad history. What should I do????
Sincerely,
Heartbroken in Sweatpants
Heartbroken,
In this situation, ignorance is bliss. It might be a little weird between the two of you now, but the awkwardness of an unexpected erection will more than likely pass. Bringing it up will only draw out the tension of something that probably wasn't that big of a deal to begin with.
If you act as if you committed some serious offense, more awkwardness will probably follow. Plus, it seems as if this girl hasn't told you outright about her bad experiences with men, so your trying to explain why you're not a bad guy might start a new problem. She probably wouldn't like your or her friends' talking about her personal life without her.
Odds are, this girl didn't even notice your boner unless she was really paying attention to your crotch.
Most importantly, despite your phallic faux pas, you didn't act upon your desires. If this girl has had bad experiences with men in the past and did happen to notice your erection, it probably means something to her that you were able to show some restraint.
And in the future, avoid the sweatpants in situations where you'd rather not be exposed. Just to be safe.
- Mallory Long is a junior studying journalism and women's studies. Ask her your questions about sex and love in the culture section of thepost.ohiou.edu, at postpillowtalk@gmail.com, or follow Pillow Talk on Twitter at @post_pillowtalk.
3 Culture
Mallory Long
