In an attempt to avoid the intimidating, 2-foot-high pile of homework on my desk, I looked up my name on UrbanDictionary.com yesterday. For those who are unaware, UrbanDictionary.com is a website where users vote on definitions for a word, moving the most popular definition to the top of the page. Because anyone can write a definition, they range from the bland, Webster Dictionary definition to just plain bizarre.
I began by searching for Mel. In one case, Mel was defined as a tomboy who watches football with the guys. However, I fear the excessive presence of pink in my dorm room instantly eliminates me from this category.
Many of the definitions for Mel were - ahem - slightly inappropriate for this column, so instead, I examined the definitions for Amelia
my actual name. These were more fitting.
One defined Amelia as someone who listens to cheesy '70s music and ... loves Lady Gaga. At risk of being slaughtered in my sleep by Lady Gaga fanatics, I detest Gaga, or Gags as some call her. On the other hand, I admit to listening to ABBA's Dancing Queen frequently.
UrbanDictionary.com also described an Amelia as a female who is of average height. True. Not only am I exactly 5'4 the average height for a woman but I am also average in weight and just about everything else. It gets boring. Sometimes I wish I had a third arm or naturally blue hair
anything to escape the monotony.
An Amelia is also capable of being both ... extremely intelligent and extremely blonde.
I don't know about extremely intelligent
but I'm living in the scholars' complex
so I must have done something right. However
I lack common knowledge. Somehow
the geography and history we were taught between preschool and third grade just didn't stick. In high school
I half-worked my way around topics I didn't understand
but upon entering college
I decided it was time I learned my planets and presidents. Now I know the sun is considered a star
