I spent the past weekend in Cleveland at home being as relaxed and carefree as I could before returning to Athens for the final stretch of Fall Quarter. The drive is about three-and-a-half hours one way, which by itself is not too bad. The real problem with the drive is being forced to stare at the sprayed guts of deer all over the place. On the way back to Athens I counted at least eight deer - multiply that by the number of pieces each deer was split into and that equals a bad, bad drive.
I propose we finally do something about all this littered roadkill that covers highways across Ohio. I'm sick and tired of having to step into a gruesome horror film every time I need to drive home. The elections are coming and I don't see one single candidate even addressing this problem.
Someone needs to step up and start penalizing drivers for their deer-killing antics. I say, if you kill a deer, you have to pick it up. Even a small-sized Honda Civic sedan could carry a deer pretty easily if you spread its parts across all the seats. After picking the victim up in their car, they have to either take it to a dump where it could decompose, safely, and away from our eyes' reach.
For second- or third-time offenders, they should have to eat the animal. Now, don't get grossed out. Roadkill is perfectly safe to eat as long as it is harvested before it begins to decompose. If the meat is cooked at 165 degrees for at least three minutes, it should be safe to eat.
A study by Brewster Barlett, or Dr. Splatt, a high school teacher from New England, estimates that at least 250,000 animals fall victim on the road each day. He had his students do a roadkill census
counting dashboard victims since 1993.
If we turn these animals into meals then at least we can say that they didn't die for anything. There's too much waste going on and I can't stand the sight of it. All this road killing needs to be stopped. 4
Opinion
Jeff Tolman
