What did the man say when he could not find the alfalfa sprouts?
Trick question. Men don't shop for alfalfa sprouts, and, if for some reason they did, they would have no trouble finding them.
Manly secrets passed down from generation to generation, such as literacy and the process of elimination, allow men to navigate even the most maze-like of stores.
PLANNING, FORETHOUGHT AND PREPARATION
In homage to these great concepts, the word's first man, Jeff Man, forged a symbol that all men would use for the remainder of time: the list.
It is believed that Jeff carved the first list on a slab of rock and that it included timeless cooking ingredients such as meat and fire.
COMMERCE IS MANLY
The mutually beneficial exchange of currency for a material good or service - it does not get much manlier.
Take this scenario. Man A wants to buy his daughter a present for her birthday.
Step one: Man A has a job (manly), which he uses to support himself and his dependents (manly).
Step two: Man A budgets his finances (manly) in order to have additional funds for the purpose of buying a present (manly).
Step three: Man A buys the game of Monopoly from Man B's toy store and gives it to his daughter (manly). She is delighted and decides to play as the battleship (manly).
Conclusion: While Man B can use this income to pay his bills (manly) and build a savings account (manly), Man A's daughter can learn that all real estate should come in rainbow colors and that free parking is awesome.
Men have a sense of purpose when they shop. They are not there to lollygag. In fact, if they gag at all, they are doing it wrong.
Get in. Try on pants until you find the appropriate size and cut, and try not to think about whether or not prior shoppers wore underwear when testing the same pants.
Worst case shopping scenario: You absolutely have to buy a new belt; however, a stampede (Gaggle? Herd?) of men just bought every belt in the county.
INTERNET THAT BELT
Internet shopping is like the perfect Christmas combined with a game of clothing-size roulette.
A man in a uniform brings you a present. It is always exactly what you want. It just may be a few sizes too wrong.
Men: They don't shop while going commando.
@ThePostCulture
3 Culture
Alex Bill
