As I started to compile a list of rules for surviving in a mosh pit and at a concert in general, I noticed something amusing - the majority of them were very similar to the rules that the character Columbus creates in the movie Zombieland. For those of you who have watched this film - especially if you are a frequent concert-goer - I hope you find the correlations as hilarious as I do.
Rule 7: Travel light. When I went to Warped Tour in Cleveland back in 2009, I have a very distinct image burned into my brain of a $1,000 camera being knocked from a set of hands and shattering into pieces.
The look on the photographer's face would probably be similar to the expression one might give upon seeing a zombie. He decided to try to wear it around his neck while entering NOFX's pit.
My best advice for bringing in cameras, money and cell phones is either have someone you trust on the sidelines hold them or don't bring them at all.
Rule 3: Beware of bathrooms. This is just more of a rule for actual concert venues (especially outdoors) and for kicks. The bathrooms are absolutely disgusting - trust me, especially if alcohol is sold. The last thing you need after being outside slamming into hot bodies on an even hotter day is to go into one of those bathrooms.
Rule 17: Don't be a hero, later crossed out and turned into do be a hero. We are sticking with the second form of this. If someone falls down, help them up.
If you are a guy and there are girls in the pit, chances are they are a lot smaller than you. If you see them go down, throw out a hand. Also, if your friend is moshing too, keep an eye on them - accidents do happen.
Once at a concert, I witnessed a kid get his nose kicked in. His friend, who was smaller than him, stopped what he was doing, picked him up as if he weighed about 5 pounds and took off sprinting to the medic station. Do be a hero.
Rule 22: When in doubt, know your way out. If you do not want to be involved in moshing, don't stand near the pit. I can't count the number of times people have gotten angry because of being pushed, yet never move away.
That provokes a lot of very annoying and loud complaining, which is usually followed by fights. I seriously cannot stress this enough: If you don't want near the action, move.
Rule 32: Enjoy the little things. This is perhaps the most important rule. A concert experience, whether it is with 20,000 screaming fans or at a house show on campus with 20 people, can be life changing. Enjoy it.
You are there to listen to music that people have poured their hearts into. I have made a lot of friends at concerts and I could write a detailed book about all of the memories I have. Sing along, push people, inhale the atmosphere physically and mentally.
You will only experience that moment once. Don't stand there like a zombie - move. It's like a rite of passage for youth. Embrace the chaos.
Merri Collins is a sophomore studying journalism and a columnist for
The Post. When you mosh, do you use Rule 29: Buddy system?
E-mail Merri at mc112609@ohiou.edu.
