Dear Pillow Talk,
I'm 22 years old and a senior in college. I am also a virgin. I've dated a few guys in college and high school, but I've never had a long-term relationship, and I've never felt like any of the guys I was dating was right to give my virginity to. Now I'm a 22-year-old virgin, and I'm kind of sick of holding onto my virginity, but I'm also not quite sure I just want to give it to anyone at this point. Is there something wrong with me? Should I just get losing my virginity over with?
Thanks,
Still a Virgin
Dear Still a Virgin,
Virginity is a strange thing to me - people seem to be obsessed with the idea of holding onto it for a while, but at some point a switch is flipped and everyone seems to go from, "You're not a virgin?" to "You're still a virgin?!"
My guess is that switch occurs sometime during college probably because of heavy drinking and the "hook up culture" that downplays the emotional intensity of sex and makes random sex not only acceptable but also quite normal, particularly for college students. But I digress.
The bottom line is that there is no "right" time to lose your virginity (I hate that term, by the way. Just because you decided to have sex doesn't mean you lost anything). If you don't want to have sex, you don't want to have sex, and that's OK.
However, if you do want to have sex, that's OK too, but you're the only person who's going to know if you should just "give it to anyone." Some people are completely comfortable having random sex and some people aren't, and knowing which kind of person you are could help you make that decision.
If you really feel as if you're sick of carrying around that v-card, the best thing you can do is stop worrying about it. If you want to have sex and meet someone you'd like to have sex with, do it but don't focus too much on finding someone to give your virginity to right away. Go with the flow and follow your instincts. You won't be unhappy - virgin or not - if you stay true to yourself.
- Mallory Long is a senior studying journalism and women's studies. Ask her your questions about sex and love in the culture section of thepost.ohiou.edu, at postpillowtalk@gmail.com or follow Pillow Talk on Twitter at @post_pillowtalk.
@ThePostCulture
