The color spectrum of relationships:
Black: The relationship is dead. It has now become an infinite abyss of hopelessness. There is nothing that will come of this anymore.
Charcoal: The relationship is almost gone, very painful. This stage is like knowing you are going to die without actually being dead yet.
Heather: Things are very bleak with a pessimistic outlook. The relationship is hopelessly frustrating. You don’t know what things are and you most likely care too much.
Gray: This is the completely neutral relationship stage. Nothing has been defined or clarified. This is prime emotional torture for one of the parties involved, usually the female.
Moderate: At this stage, you are closer to knowing what things are, but you are not quite there yet. There is some hope and you are likely headed in a more positive direction.
Light: You have a good idea of what things are in your relationship. You feel good and relatively confident, but things are not entirely clear or spelled out.
White: This is the crisp, clear, and comfortable stage of relationships. You know what you are, where you are at, and where it is going. Congratulations!
Whether you are “talking,” “friends-with-benefits” or are in a full-fledged relationship, your stage can likely be categorized. For women, we tend to like having labels and a sense of direction in our relationships. We want to define things and to know where they are going.
However, our male counterparts usually have a little trouble sufficing this need. Either they are aware of this and choose to say nothing in order to watch us squirm and wait for us to ask or genuinely have no idea what is going on.
Regardless, the emotional torture is exhausting. If you bring up the dreaded “define the relationship” talk, they shy away or run for the hills. If you choose to say nothing, you end up secretly resenting them and lash out irrationally. It results in a lose-lose situation because you are either without your man or with him against his will. So what is a woman to do?
Here it is — straight up.
If he wants to be with you and only you, he will do just that. You will know you have reached the “white” stage because he will be doing everything he can to make sure you know it and make sure to keep it there. If he doesn’t really seem to care that much, or at all, he will not say anything and hope that you do the same.
More importantly, he will not care that he is making you go crazy waiting and wondering what’s going on.
Finally, if he is not communicating with you, he is most likely not thinking about you. If the thought of you is not able to trump his video game or TV show now, then it won’t ever be able to.
I know your fellow female friends will say that talking to men about things like this is a good idea because communication is key as I have done the same thing. However, when we push men into relationship corners, we end up pushing them away from us.
You can try to make up excuses or reasons, but there is no amount of analyzing that can override this simple rule. Men can be tricky in their seemingly simplistic tendencies, but if they want something bad enough, they will do what it takes to not only get it but also keep it.
Call me old fashioned, call me a princess, but it is not about merely getting results; it is about getting the right results.
Bentley Weisel is a freshman studying magazine journalism and a columnist for The Post. What color is your relationship? Email Bentley at bw289809@ohiou.edu.
