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Bent on Boys: Girls can't be friends with opposite sex

Friend (n.) one attached to another by genuine and non-romantic affection.

Boyfriend (n.) a person’s consistent romantic companion that is of the male gender.

Girlfriend (n.) a person’s consistent romantic companion that is of the female gender.

Let us be honest with ourselves, heterosexual guys cannot actually be friends with heterosexual girls. I know many are going to be entirely willing to dispute such a bold statement; however, your conscious ignorance does not excuse this truth.

Think about how every “friend” of the male gender that you possess came to be. I am going to go ahead and simply guess that your options are as follows:

You used to date/“talk”/be in a relationship, you (used to) like them, they (used to) like you or something physical occurred between the two of you at one point in time.

In spite of this, your “friendship” started for a reason and I am betting that reason is something you have been choosing to ignore.

There is always going to be a natural inclination toward someone that you find attractive whether it is acted upon or not. It is how our bodies react and interact.

This does not mean that the feelings are always expressed, but they are evident initially or as a result of the “friendship.” The problem lies in relationships versus friendships.

Guys that are in a relationship with a girl have difficulty letting their significant other hang out with a member of the opposite gender in a solitary environment.

Why, you may ask?

Because guys know exactly what other guys are thinking.

The concept is best explained by Harry in the 1989 classic film When Harry Met Sally, starring Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal.

“A guy cannot be friends with a girl that he finds attractive because the sex part will always be there. Even if you are not aware that it is present, that does not mean it is not there.”

Regardless of the attraction from either end, the natural instincts between males and females radiate.  

Of course we are all prone to associate with members of the opposite gender in a non-romantic way, but the animalistic instincts are still present. There is unintentional flirtation exchanged, the occasional and innocent physical contact, and even loaded eye contact.    

Whether or not a girl is completely available or taken by someone else, that does not stop the chemistry that occurs when they interact with a guy. In fact, girls thrive on the feeling of being wanted, even if only conversationally.

Guys do not befriend girls that are attractive to them for no reason. Availability has nothing to do with it.

They are going to hold onto the hope that maybe one day you will look at them in a different light and everything will change. The competitive aspect is intriguing for guys.

The moment you even think about deciding to move outside the “friends zone” with a guy, they will be ready and willing. And you thought you were only friends. That’s cute.

This does not mean they don’t genuinely like you as a person or friend, but it also does not mean they are not thinking about you in another way.

As girls, we enjoy the attention from guys whether we have a romantic interest in them or not.

This is why we put a little extra effort in our appearance when we know we are going to see certain male counterparts.

We are not intentionally trying to be cruel, we simply choose to suppress the reality.  

Bentley Weisel is a freshman studying magazine journalism and a columnist for The Post. If you can prove Bentley wrong, email her at

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