In last Thursday’s Post column, freshman Bentley Weisel claimed that men are incapable of being friends with members of the opposite sex. Friend of course meaning, “one attracted to another without romantic affection.”
On the contrary to the columnist’s opinion, I would like to posit that men can pursue friendship with the opposite sex without seeking a further relationship.
As a man, I have many friends of the opposite sex — friends that I truly care about and would do nearly anything for. We hang out, go through hell and back, and make sure we’ve got each other’s backs in tough times; you name it.
These are simple aspects of any friendship, and these qualities are not limited to or motivated by gender. I would hope that the girls in my life would not argue that they possess a biological advantage that allows them to be a better friend than me, though the columnist would argue that I am at a biological disadvantage.
According to the article, apparently as a man I have “animalistic instincts,” instincts that make me incapable of being a true friend to a girl. The column infers that my sexual motivation as a man overshadows my desire to be a caring friend to women. I find this statement to be insensitive and exaggerated, to say the least. It presents a false notion about the kind of friendship a man can give.
A quote from the article claims that I either “ ... used to talk/date/be in a relationship, used to like them … or something physical occurred between the two of you at one point in time,” in regards to every one of my friends that are girls.
This in itself is not true for me personally or for any other man I can think of, for that matter.
The columnist argues when describing a man’s “friendship” with an attractive woman, he continues to be a friend in the hopes that she will eventually take interest in him.
She goes on to say that men find this competition to be “intriguing”, arguing essentially that no man is a real friend to an attractive woman because we are looking to get lucky with all of them eventually down the road.
As a side note, I understand the immense credibility of the classic film When Harry Met Sally. Where I have a problem is the need for statistics to defend these kinds of bold statements.
If my entire side of the gender binary is to be judged, I would prefer not to have the burden of proof rest solely on a quote from a romantic comedy.
I feel that Bentley has been misguided on this issue. The fact of the matter is that most men are good and good to be friends with.
So take more notice of them, and you might be surprised at what you find.
All men want to have friends and enjoy company with others. We associate ourselves with the opposite sex, but not because we wish to pursue a deeper relationship.
The reasons women want to have friends and the reasons men want to have friends are identical.
In closing, not only is the main claim of the article ridiculous and false in my eyes, but it is downright insulting to friendship and those who choose to practice it.
Nick Tuell is a sophomore studying political science and political communications.
