PARENTS' WEEKEND
With Parents’ Weekend nearing and freshmen’s parents flocking, Athens is gearing up for another unnecessary Ohio University-supported holiday. Make sure to avoid Court Street for the upcoming weekend unless you plan on being bombarded by families with shopping bags in tow. The Other Place and Figleaf are sure to be sold out by five on Saturday because Suzy just has to have a peach-colored dress to go with her new shoes. Try to avoid the streets at all costs and ditch the late night Big Mamma’s and order some DP Dough instead.
— Elyse Freeman
MEET YOUR MAKER
Arch West, the creator of Doritos chips, died last week and to fulfill on of his
dying wishes, his remains will be buried with a couple of his beloved chips. He thought it would be hilarious, and besides, the chips are biodegradable. With
this, it seems that West will literally take his delicious recipe with him to the grave. It addition to this, before he is buried, the family will toss a couple more chips on top of his coffin. At the very least, the grave robbers will get a late night snack.
— William Ashton
COME HERE, PUMPKIN
It’s that time of year. But as a college student and someone with seasonal onset allergies, all this comes to mean is runny noses, no sleep, and among the falling leaves is me falling behind in my classes. Thankfully, every early morning and late night is greeted with a piping hot pumpkin something. Pumpkin coffee, pumpkin soup, pumpkin pie — it knows no bounds. I don’t know who first decided that we should put the seasonal squash in everything, but I’d like to shake their hand, and maybe throw one at their house.
— Rosie Haney
