Watching sports is exhausting, probably more so than actually playing them.
There are 15 men’s and women’s varsity teams, 36 club teams and 17 intramural sports at Ohio University, and I don’t have the attention span or mental capacity to maintain an interest in even one of them. They all have different rules, objectives, schedules and venues. I don’t think I’m cut out for it.
I can’t count how many times well-meaning friends have tried to explain the rules of football to me, but for some reason the concept never sticks in my brain. I can remember endless amounts of song lyrics, movie quotes and useless trivia, but I still do not and probably never will understand what a first down is.
This weekend I set out to expand my knowledge and experience the college-sports world firsthand, but my plan did not go so well. I bailed on every event I hoped to attend.
My first idea was to go to a volleyball game, but I couldn’t wrap my head around why there were three games in the same weekend. I listened to a few people explain the logistics of tournament play, but I decided it was too confusing and not worth the mental exertion to figure out.
Then my friend suggested that I go to a field hockey game, which sounded cool enough, but I had no idea where Pruitt Field was. It’s on that side of campus where all the other sports stuff is, and that whole area might as well be Mars to me. The only directions I received were in relation to The Convo, as if I had been there more than once and actually knew where and what that place is. It’s for basketball, right?
On Saturday my brother texted me and told me that I absolutely had to watch the football game at Penn State. I fully intended to, until I found out that my TV does not get ESPN. I get ESPNU, and I do not know what the difference is. (Quick question: Is it a big deal for our team to be on ESPN? Is it like your friend’s band being on MTV?)
After giving up on watching the game, I tried to keep up with some of the live-blogging, but that was a bad idea. I don’t understand football when I’m watching it happen right in front of me, so I don’t know why I thought I could understand a transcript. The blogs were full of bewildering sentences such as this one from nittanyextra.com: “Landon Smith catches a Tettleton pass off a slant and breaks a tackle to get to the Penn State 5.” That is not English, as far as I can tell. Also, what on earth is a Nittany Lion? Why are none of these words decipherable?
I gave up on the Penn State game and went to the movies.
I can’t imagine how dedicated sports fans manage to keep up with their teams. All I did this weekend was attempt to watch three games, and I’m pooped.
I could never do it. For me, even finding the right channel is too much work.
Haylee Pearl is a sophomore studying journalism and a copy editor for The Post. Do you know where Pruitt Field is? Send her a map at hp208310@ohiou.edu.
