After reading your recently published column “Distractions abound at Ohio football games,” I couldn’t help but brainstorm and come up with some ideas for future columns for The Post.
First time going to the movies:
“I walked in and saw this large screen and loud noise filling the room. I wondered why the picture was so big?! Many people weren’t even paying attention. As I tried to enjoy the $6 popcorn I had paid for, I could not believe the amount of butter stuck on my fingers. This was nothing like my living room.”
First time going to the beach:
“I wondered what this odd substance was underneath my feet. Then I saw this large blue body of water. I stuck my feet in and it was cold. All of a sudden my shoes and socks were soaked. All around me at this ‘beach’ were half-naked people. It was obscene. Definitely not a place for kids, let alone good-natured adults.”
First time going to a library:
“I entered this very quiet building. Why was no one speaking? So very quiet. There were books — lots of them. I picked one up and thought I’d sit down and read it. I brought it up to the desk and the woman told me I had to check it out ... ‘check it out,’ I thought? That sounds like something one of the guys on Jersey Shore says about a girl, not a book. Then she asked if I had a library card. Umm, I have a credit card but that’s about all. Sadly, that couldn’t get me my book.”
I surely think these ideas fit in line with the general tone of the recent column and may be worth looking into for future publication.
Signed with sarcasm,
Connor Kiesel
Connor Kiesel is a 2011 graduate
of Ohio University.
