When I found out I’d be taking over this column this semester, I thought about a lot of things. I knew that I wanted to promote (safe) sexual freedom and empowerment. I wanted to make it fun and easy to read and I knew that there was one holiday that would make it pretty easy to talk about all of these things: Valentine’s Day.
Come on, we sell condom-grams in Baker Center, this week is “Sex Week” and everything is absolutely drenched in pink, red, sparkles and chocolate. It’s like an Elton John wet dream wherever you go. So why is it so hard to talk about?
For a holiday that is all about love, sex and romance, it sure turns a lot of people into sour grapes. I mean, this holiday is begging you to go out and wine and dine some fine honey and get your lovin’ on. (Sorry, I realized I just sounded like an early 2000s version of LL Cool J… I guess I watched the Grammys for too long.)
So why do we hate it so much? I know what you’re all going to tell me. Consumerism! Consumerism is the devil and we hate it! Right?
Then why on Black Friday or the day before Christmas Eve or even New Year’s can we pack restaurants, buy presents and exclaim our love of the “spirit of the holidays” and not be scolded for it?
So, maybe this holiday is a little tacky and maybe the idea of Cupid freaks me the hell out, but there is no reason to get so upset, my darlings.
If you’re in a couple or you think someone is the cat’s pajamas — which is the best compliment if you ask me, cat’s pajama’s would be way cute — ask them out to a nice seafood dinner and a bottle of sparkling grape juice.
Not in a couple? Grab some friends and watch Transformers, get fancy and go out or hand out Spongebob valentines to strangers. Or carry on as you usually do.I’m a columnist, not a cop.
Whatever you do, I wish you nothing but happiness, a belly full of nougat and a valentine from a lovely person who smells good.
Not sure how to spend a day full of love with your honey? Email Kristin at thebedpostpeople@gmail.com.
