I’ve only hooked up with a few girls since I started here. I see all these things on the OU Confessions and hear all of my friends talk about how they get all these girls and I’m jealous. I’m not getting any. I’m starting to get really frustrated sexually… and just normally. How do I get girls to know I want to hook up with them?
Usually, for me at least, a giant, flashing neon sign that reads “open for business” near my crotch does the trick. But, that can get expensive and heavy so I suppose you want alternatives, huh?
This is a toughie, because most people are not that comfortable with simply walking up to an eligible young lady and exclaiming that you want to play naked twister with them. But, in case you haven’t noticed, it takes two to tango, play chess and do the nasty.
If you really want a girl “to hook up,” you’ve gotta do it the old fashioned way. Go out, be social, make advances, flirt, get rejected, suck it up, move on. It’s not a perfect system, but short of paying for sex or finding a magic lamp, it’s your only option.
In the meantime, if you’re really worried about your sexual frustration, there are plenty of toys, movies, gadgets, doo-dads, swings, magazines, books and so on that can help you out. It’s not the most glamorous option, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. We don’t have the same equipment, but I’m well-versed in the rules of this game, my friend.
I get college is supposed to be one big public orgy with girls who are willing to do basically anything and sex in college is supposed to be hot and plentiful. But alas, we don’t live in a reoccurring loop of American Pie. We’re all humans and we get shy, we get tired, we get nights where we would rather dance our faces off and go home, eat Domino’s cheese bread than gyrate naked on a stranger. Can you blame us?
The point is that you don’t have to base your life on an anonymous Twitter account and what whoever is doing. I mean, come on, there’s no way Alden is seeing that much action. And if it is, I want all of my books sanitized … stat.
You can’t force these things and why would you want to? Finding a person to go home with (if that’s what you’re seeking) is a rare and majestic thing. If it happened every night, well then maybe you wouldn’t be as happy.
Although sex does release hella endorphins, so who’s to say?
Want tips on how to release those endorphins? Email Kristin at thebedpostpeople@gmail.com
