Dear BedPost,
I’m going home for Thanksgiving and Christmas break and that means hanging out with my high school friends and my high school ex. We’ve been talking a little and I think we’re at the point where we can be friends. But, that means when I go home, I’ll probably wanna sleep with him. What do I do so I don’t make that mistake?
Dearest Reader,
I would say a pretty good way to go about doing things is to never do anything which I classified weeks before as a mistake.
We do certain things, not because we want to but because we have to, such as cleaning our dishes or watching the “Bound 2” music video (no seriously, you have to watch, it’s so awful), sleeping with someone is not one of those things.
It’s one thing to get lonely, especially when you’re home. You’re away from the Athens debauchery and everything is cozy and nostalgic and I guess your first instinct is to go bone your high school ex. I personally hate everything about that point in my life and never wanna go back, but I guess I get that. The point is, you have to realize that these actions have consequences past a quick kiss under the mistletoe or you removing his ugly christmas sweater with your teeth.
If this is just a loneliness thing, perhaps you should learn about the wonderful world of self-love. It’s pretty life changing. Then pop in Love Actually, make some popcorn and thank the sweet lord you’re not in high school anymore.
Kristin is a junior studying journalism and the Culture Editor of The Post.
Dearest Reader,
Desire is a funny thing. When the human subconscious wants something, that want is nigh on impossible to quell. A beautiful woman in the park; a gorgeous painting at a gallery; a shiny new car; I have yet to pass Big Mama’s without stuffing my face with a Philly Mama (no onions).
You cannot stop yourself from wanting, but you can prevent someone else from wanting you. If you want to avoid slamming your old high school man friend, you’ll have to make yourself undesirable.
Unfortunately for you, we men will put up with a lot if there’s the promise of booty in the future. So to fend off this guy we’re talking no showering, armpit hair, bacne if you can muster some, ankle-length denim skirts with pockets; you have to be as nauseatingly unappealing as possible.
Tell him you went vegan.
When he first lays eyes on you and takes a whiff of your odor, hope he vomits a little in his mouth. The word “appalled” should immediately spring to his mind. If this happens, you will successfully make it through the break without shagging your ex.
Actually he still might wanna. You never know.
Ian is a junior studying journalism. Have a Thanksgiving love story for us? Email us at thebedpostpeople@gmail.com
This article appeared in print under the headline "Holiday hookup with hometown ex might not be wise"
