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Sleeping with your best friend can cause issues, but when it's same-sex hook-up, the rules change

Dear BedPost,

So I hooked up with my best friend. This wouldn’t be so weird if we weren’t both female. I’m not gay and I didn’t think she was either, but it happened and we haven’t talked about it. I have no idea what to do. I thought I was straight.


Dear Reader,

Oh cool! You’re the “experimental lesbian college experience joke” from all those rom-coms I’ve seen!

In seriousness, I’m sure this is a super tough time for ya. Like it or not, sexual identity is something so ingrained and talked about in our culture and having it seemingly change before our eyes is jarring to say the least.

But, as every cool girl’s AIM away message said, “Labels are for soup cans.” One hookup does not a lesbian make. There are plenty of options ahead of you, whether that means identifying as bisexual, pansexual, queer or even still straight or choosing not to pick a label at all.

The most important thing is that you not beat yourself up about this. You have some awkward talks ahead of you with your friend, and what you both need to understand is this is not a bad thing and you don’t have to make it mean anything more than you want it to.

Godspeed, my friend.

Kristin is a junior studying journalism and the Culture Editor of The Post.

Luckily for you, reader, I am an expert in — wait what’s that? Oh, that’s what she’s asking about? Oh. — Um, never mind. I misheard you.

More awkward to deal with than not understanding someone’s serious question or using terrible segues is the period of time after hooking up with a friend, especially a good friend.

The important thing to remember is that unlike in a romantic relationship, any physical and sexual contact during a hook-up should be kept emotionally separate from actual companionship.

If you get nasty with a pal, you should make sure you know that’s not a vital part of the friendship. Otherwise, you could end up with something more than a friendship on your hands.

As for the sexuality questioning, I’m willing to bet you were right in your original prognosis of thinking you’re straight. From the sound of things, straight girls are more willing to hook up with girls than straight guys are with other guys. No one knows why.

Okay, someone probably knows why, but I don’t. And I’ll likely just sound like an idiot if I make a stab at it.

You should probably just listen to Kristin on this one.

Ian is a junior studying journalism and a slot editor at The Post. Need advice on hooking up? Email


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