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Existential Binge-Watching: It’s time for some Oscar predictions

It’s officially about time for the Oscars, which means it’s also officially about time for everybody to start voicing all their film opinions, whether they know anything about movies or not. And on that note, let’s get to some predictions for this year’s Academy Awards.

1917 will win best picture.

Joker is the controversial choice here, which I would be in full support of, but it certainly isn’t a sure thing. The Irishman and Marriage Story would stand great chances if they weren’t Netflix Originals. Parasite is hurt only in its label, much like the previous two, because it is a foreign film. As for Jojo Rabbit, it may just be a bit too out there for the academy. Meanwhile, Little Women, Once Upon a Time…in Hollywood and Ford v. Ferrari seem a bit lost in the shadow of the rest of the nominees. 1917, then, is the clear — albeit safe — bet to win the much-talked-about category. Here’s to hoping Joker shocks everyone though.

Joaquin Phoenix will win best actor in a leading role.

Following in Heath Ledger’s footsteps, but carving his own path, Phoenix will likely nab another win for the beloved Batman villain. He became the Joker, perhaps even more so than Ledger did, and he deserves this award more than anyone else for his groundbreaking performance and commitment. Adam Driver fans will probably be upset.

Missing Link will win an underwhelming animation category.

Every year, the animated feature film category usually has one clear winner, a film that struck the hearts of audiences everywhere and conveyed an unforgettable story. This year’s nominees are a mix of sequels and films that no one has really seen. The assumption has to be given to Missing Link only because its stop motion animation might distinguish it from the rest. The unnecessary sequel that is Toy Story 4 might also win just because it’s a part of the Toy Story franchise.

Marriage Story could be a dark horse.

Adam Driver, Scarlett Johansson and Laura Dern all deserve to win their respective acting categories. The film could also easily sneak in a win for original score and original screenplay. The film itself was quietly and elegantly powerful. Marriage Story might also just quietly sweep its categories if the award show is feeling kind toward it.

Brad Pitt will win his first Oscar.

It’s honestly a little strange to think that such a prominent and beloved actor has never won an Academy Award for his acting. Here he is though, and Pitt might be the next Leo. It seems reasonable to assume he could get the nod for best supporting actor and shine a little spotlight on Once Upon a Time…in Hollywood, which just doesn’t seem to hold up against its competitors. Tom Hanks might be the sneaky competition here, only for playing such a beloved role as Mr. Rogers.

There’s no way Parasite doesn’t win international feature film.

It’s a foreign film nominated for best picture. If anything, it’ll win this category.

People will inevitably be upset.

It’s just the way of the Oscars. Whether it be the continued lack of diversity, awkward announcers or winners that don’t deserve to win, there will be plenty of complaints after the show. Maybe this year will go smoothly and everyone will be happy and in agreement the following day. Or, maybe that’s the craziest prediction on this entire list. Only the day after the Oscars will tell.

Jackson Horvat is a sophomore studying journalism at Ohio University. Please note that the views and opinions of the columnists do not reflect those of The Post. Do you agree? Tell Jackson by tweeting him at @horvatjackson.

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