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The Pest: Dealers versus dispensaries

It’s 7 p.m. on a Saturday night, and you’re having some friends over. Some of them have asked if you’re going to be providing weed. Unfortunately, you live in Ohio, and it’s not legal recreationally. You still want to make your friends happy, so you call up your local dealer and ask if you can swing by for an eighth. 

But this also means you then have to go across town at night, make a quick transaction and rush home without any trouble. At its best, it’s euphoric because you’ve scored the cannabis you were hoping for. It also has its lows, as you walk back to your house with illegal substances on your person. 

Some who buy from dealers may feel a connection with the person and even have a relationship where they give you good deals. In all reality, how can one be certain that what they’re giving you is real, let alone tested? But friends want to support friends and get high, right? That’s the end goal.

What if you’re looking for larger quantities? Well, sure, there are deals, but an ounce will usually cost between $150 and $180. If you’re looking for carts, it’s the same deal. Buying one can cost you anywhere between $35 to $50 unless you have a relationship with your dealer, where they’ll cut you a bargain.

Let’s flip the initial experience and say it’s still that same Saturday night, but you live in Michigan AND you’re of age (21). Rather than scrambling up $35 in cash to get illegal drugs, you can drive to your local dispensary that may even offer the luxurious service of curbside pick-up. That’s right, at some dispensaries, you can order your weed online ahead of time. 

An eighth might cost you anywhere from $13 to $55 or up. Now I’m not saying that your dealer can’t meet or beat these prices, but how are we to know where their weed came from? 

When you’re buying carts from a dealer, they can contain toxic chemicals that you certainly shouldn’t be inhaling if it hasn’t been tested or made properly. From the dispensary, you know that what you’re getting has been made safely. Prices are also a little bit cheaper if you buy in bulk

All I’m saying is that I don’t see the habits of those who smoke weed changing any time soon. So why don’t we remove the barriers so that those who partake can stop breaking the law? Until then, dealers can be sure to have their regular stream of revenue coming in from the usual customers. Residents in states where it’s legal and who are of age can enjoy the luxury of an easy visit to the local dispensary, and the Pest will keep pestering Ohio to legalize the recreational use of marijuana.

The Pest is a satirical column and does not reflect the views of The Post.

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