The writer's strike is officially over. Does this mean we will be getting movies and television shows back? No, not quite yet. The actors are still on strike, but one form of media has returned: talk shows. Unfortunately, this disappoints almost everyone except your grandma, as talk shows haven't been relevant for the last five years. Here is why the late-night talk shows will soon be gone:
They aren't adapting to the younger generation
Get out of the way, Jimmy Kimmel. Cable isn't relevant to anyone. No one is anxiously staying up until 11 p.m. to watch a late-night talk show, and college kids are certainly not on the edge of their seats to watch a late-night host talk to a boring, washed-up celebrity. The only thing "late-night television" means to me is that my roommate is still up at 2 a.m. watching "Breaking Bad." Anyone interested in watching a late-night talk show will log onto YouTube the next day to watch interesting people like Travis Kelce or our queen Olivia Rodrigo talk about their lives.
We also don't want to see a 50-something man we clearly can't relate to. We want a young and handsome charming host (like myself) who knows what the Grimace Shake is and understands why die-hard Swifties refer to Taylor Swift as "mother." There is no way Stephen Colbert knows what I mean when I say, "mother is mothering."
Boring interviews and monologues
We don't want to hear your opening monologue about Donald Trump for the 15th time. We get it. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed. As a viewer of all forms of content, I only watch interviews when I'm bored. We already know enough about ourselves, but we do want to know about the essentials our favorite celebrities keep in their bags, and we are tired of interviewers asking weird questions. Stop asking Scarlett Johansson perverted questions about her costumes in Marvel movies. Talk to celebrities like they are normal people, make jokes and have fun. Don't just go down your checklist of questions fed to you by a producer.
Podcasts
I hate to say it, but the podcast has eliminated the relevance of the talk show. If I'm really into skateboarding and that's all I want to hear about, I can just listen to Tony Hawk's podcast on Spotify. These days, there's little to no point to the visual element of talk shows. People can now find a podcast about any subgenre out there, have the flexibility to jump between genres, and don't need a visual to be entertained.
Skits and Bits
Lately, talk shows have taken out all the fun and left in all the boring interviews – we want to see something exciting, no matter how silly or extravagant. For example, during the 2007 writers' strike, Conan O'Brien tried to break his own record of spinning his wedding ring each show and celebrated with balloons and a Mariachi band when he finally did it. Another time, O'Brien ziplined through the audience with rocket booster boots. Audiences want to watch something interesting. If I had a talk show, I would taste test every color of Play-Doh to see if the colors taste any different and then try to identify which color is which while being blindfolded. Don't lie; you know you've tasted Play-Doh and wondered the same thing.
If you still watch any talk shows, let me know. You can also let me know if you would watch a talk show hosted by me, Daniel Gorbett – maybe The Post will let me do my own.
Daniel Gorbett is a freshman at Ohio University. Please note that the views and opinions of the columnist do not reflect those of The Post. What are your thoughts? Let Daniel know by emailing him at dg371822@ohio.edu.
