Recently, I attended a Columbus Blue Jackets hockey game the day before Thanksgiving. I was looking forward to chowing down on a hot dog decked out with all the fixings, watching organized violence and enjoying the atmosphere at Nationwide Arena. But despite the Blue Jackets winning 7-3 against the visiting Chicago Blackhawks, my experience was soiled by an annoyance I have noticed occurring more and more recently: EDM in professional sports arenas. It has become the main music choice to play during breaks. I. Don't. Like. It.
EDM stands for electronic dance music. It often sounds like music without words, a lot of beat drops and what a laser would sound like. Or the music that you hear playing 24/7 at Pawpurrs Bar on Court Street in Athens as sweaty college kids grind on each other relentlessly and you slowly suffocate from lack of air.
That environment is fitting because Pawpurrs is a college bar that caters to alcohol and caffeine-fueled young adults. It is not, however, in my traditional and cranky opinion, appropriate music for a professional hockey game.
When I want to get hyped up about some hockey, the music choice that does not come to mind is something you would hear in a nightclub. I enjoy some good Fallout Boy, AC/DC and the occasional Taylor Swift song to keep things light and loose as I watch grown men throw each other into the boards.
When I was younger and attended CBJ games, some of my best memories were when "Sweet Caroline" played and everyone linked arms; it made for a very wholesome moment. Nowadays, the more hockey games I go to, the more EDM that is on playlists. It's not just in Columbus. After watching some away games to add to my discovery research, it's like a switch was flipped, and the entire NHL suddenly decided it would try to become "hip" and "cool."
Whoever controls the audio at these games - know that your decisions weigh on my soul greatly. You might be saying, "Drew, how are you going to fight this war against these audio morons?" Fear not, readers, for I have the solution.
Using my eventual degree in communications studies, I will obtain a job in audio control for the Columbus Blue Jackets, integrating myself slowly with my coworkers. After a year, I will start framing them for small things at first, then work my way up to blaming them for, oh, I don't know, a freak Zamboni explosion that injures many.
With the newfound lack of advice and on a gigantic power trip, I will take control of the playlist, rocking out with some absolute classics such as "Mr. Brightside" and getting the crowd pumped up with "Seven Nation Army." So, while the solution may be slow and possibly long-term, know that change is coming and when it is, he ready.
Drew is a freshman studying communications at Ohio University. Please note that the opinions expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of The Post. Want to Talk to Drew about his article? Tweet him @haughn_drew24.