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Darn it, Daniel: Why 'Poor Things' was bad

Recently my brother and I decided to go see a movie and I endured one of the worst things I’ve ever seen: “Poor Things.” Warning, there are spoilers ahead.

Overall I think the concept of the movie was quite interesting. The first 20 minutes and the last 10 minutes prevented this movie from being truly awful. The most interesting part about the movie was the concept of gods and what happens when you have the power to manipulate the human race. 

The part I found the most interesting was when the main character, Bella Baxter, finds out what she is. She is upset by the information and tells Dr. Godwin Baxter, her creator, that she loves him because he is like a father to her but will hate him for creating her. Objectively, the trailer made the movie look great and the acting was solid.

However, there are many reasons this movie is one of the worst I’ve ever seen in my life. It starts with a pregnant woman dying by suicide followed by Godwin Baxter putting the brain of the woman’s baby in her head. This brings up my first problem. When asked by his assistant, Max McCandles, why he did it, Godwin Baxter says it was to save them. He then explains that he could have saved the baby and the mother but chose not to save the mother because he would have been making her go back to her old life. 

This is some of the dumbest reasoning I’ve ever heard. Even disregarding his knowledge of the human mind, he says it was to save Bella Baxter, but this logic makes him look even more like an idiot. If he was truly doing it to save her, he would have just taken the baby out and raised it as his own. 

Now that I am done talking about the issues, someone will give some dumb excuse like, “It’s just science fiction, you have to suspend your disbelief.” It’s not the suspension of disbelief, it's just a massive plot hole. 

The next part I found disturbing was the assistant Max’s attraction to Bella. Max knows the creation Bella is, and when Godwin Baxter asks him about it he’s nervous, but not for the reason you may think. Max is not nervous because Bella has a three-year-old mind, but because Godwin Baxter created her — he is not thinking about her real age.

The reasons that Max would be attracted to her are all the worst reasons and the father figure doesn’t care, he just thinks, “no it’s good, have your way with her." Godwin Baxter contemplated why Max would be attracted to Bella and summed it up to them just playing together, which was just them throwing a ball back and forth. 

It never crossed his mind that Max may only be attracted to her because he believes she is inferior to him, or because she has the body of an adult or because she has an innocent mind. To me, all signs point to stop. 

Another issue I have is why it made sense to let a baby go off on an adventure with a stranger. Also, why is her brain developing at four times the normal speed? 

Now, I will leave you with this: If you thought everything I brought up was nitpicky and dumb, I will admit most of it is quite nitpicky. But what was so entertaining between the beginning and ending 20 minutes? Do you really find it brilliant enough to be worthy of Oscars because Bella figured out what sex and books were and upset Mark Ruffalo’s character? 

Daniel Gorbett is a freshman at Ohio University. Please note that the views and opinions of the columnist do not reflect those of The Post. What are your thoughts? Let Daniel know by emailing him at

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