We're officially in the last stretch of the year, and I am worried about what many refer to as "cuffing season," the time when people scramble to find temporary romantic partners for the holidays, then break up in the spring. Dating during cuffing season is emotionally risky, often temporary and ultimately not worth the baggage it brings.
Hinge, a dating app, notes in its data most user messages were sent in October, when the weather cools and parties start. This shows people aren’t necessarily seeking deep connections, but warmth and company. I understand loneliness makes this tempting, but based on my experience, dating during this time is not worth it.
I have to remember it is a nightmare to find a plus one for all those festive activities. How am I supposed to pick pumpkins, go to fall festivals, watch seasonal movies, or go to themed parties alone? The Halloween parties have duo costumes that give me FOMO. I do not want to go into November and December alone after that.
One September, I got back together with a guy I had previously been with. The particular holiday season was important because we had to show each other off and prove that our relationship could have a second chance.
With him, I went to four Thanksgivings. I ate so many deviled eggs, made so much food and talked to so many relatives. I went to dinners with both sides of his family, and I don't think I could survive at the kid’s table for much longer, no matter how much I loved his family. I like the football games, but I don't like it when family members get too drunk. Once we got to Christmas, I put my all into gift baskets for his sisters, and he bought them very expensive gifts.
I wrapped all of them, even the ones he got me! We then broke up in March, but I did get a laptop from him that Christmas, which I am currently using to write this column.
My advice to you is to not put yourself in this scenario. The gifts and companionship are nice during a lonely time, but the baggage is not, plus, the sugar you will eat will be turned into a New Year’s resolution you might not overcome. Emotional consequences when these relationships end in the spring often outweigh those fleeting comforts.
Remember why you want to date and how long you have had the desire. Do you want to get to know someone, or do you want someone to do activities with? You can use cuffing season as a way to stay curious about love and how to navigate the most hectic of seasons with someone. If you feel you are not ready to weave someone into your life, don’t start trying this fall.
There are plenty of ways around dating during cuffing season, especially if you don’t want to introduce someone new to your family or be introduced to someone else’s family. I have a habit of getting attached to my partner’s family, which is horrible to do when they break up with you in March.
This fall, I want to attend fewer holiday gatherings with my partner’s extended family and more with my own loved ones. I don’t need a matching costume for Halloween, and I don’t need to show off my partner at Thanksgiving, give big gifts at Christmas, or have a Valentine in February. I honestly want to change and grow like the seasons. If I date, I will make sure to be separate enough from my partner, so I don’t have to play trivia at Christmas just to open a gift.
Spend time with your friends, go to their houses for fall and winter activities and make deeper connections with them. You don’t need to be in a romantic relationship to experience what makes these colder months fun. Oh well, if you want to end up like me with a $300 laptop I received from a guy because, to you, the gift outweighs the crying.
Cassidy McClurg is a freshman student studying journalism at Ohio University. Please note the opinions expressed in this column do not represent those of The Post. Want to talk to Cassidy about their column? Email them at cm303824@ohio.edu or message @cassieefsc.
