On March 19, a video was released by TMZ of MomTok leader, Taylor Frankie Paul, yelling and throwing a chair at the father of one of her children and then-boyfriend, Dakota Mortensen. Paul was supposed to be the new "Bachelorette," with her season set to premiere three days after the release of the video, but ABC decided to pull the show.
Although Paul’s acts were reprehensible, it’s delusional to look for morality and virtue in a show that started with a swinging scandal and stars several people with severe religious trauma.
Paul made a name for herself on TikTok in 2020 when she began to share tidbits of her life as a Mormon wife and mother. Paul captivated audiences with her modern take on Mormonism with her tight clothing, crop tops and crude humor.
Soon after Paul made her TikTok debut, she started MomTok. This became a group of young Mormon mothers known for making dancing videos and throwing shade at each other.
In 2022, MomTok blew up due to a viral livestream where Paul admitted to “soft swing” with other Mormon couples. Although most members of MomTok weren’t involved in the scandal, it put the group on the map, and in September 2024, a new reality show about MomTok called “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” aired on Hulu.
At the end of the first episode, bodycam footage of Paul’s arrest was shown. In the next episode, the audience discovered she had been arrested for a domestic violence incident against Mortensen. The show continued, and the audience watched Paul quit drinking and open up about going to therapy. Thus, the audience mostly forgot about the incident.
However, TMZ released the video of the incident last month, and fans of the show turned on Paul.
The video is extremely hard to watch, to say the least. Not only does it show violence, but Paul’s daughter is heard in the background crying for her mother while she continues to yell and throw chairs at Mortensen. Although not seen, the audio implies that a chair hit her daughter.
People on social media have criticized Paul to no end for her violent behavior in front of her daughter. The event itself is traumatic for a child, but a video being released for all to see is unimaginable. A spokesperson for Paul released a statement to PEOPLE magazine explaining she endured years of physical and mental abuse from Mortensen and is preparing to share her story.
What Paul did isn’t forgivable, but the situation isn’t black and white. Her behavior was always public information. If you hate Paul now due to the video, you should’ve hated her from the beginning. It was no secret she was involved in a domestic dispute that ended in her arrest.
As an audience, we only see what they want to show. It’s also important to keep in mind that although reality TV might have authentic moments, there are 24 hours in a day, and we only see 50-minute episodes.
Additionally, the cast has spoken about the trauma they have dealt with growing up in the Mormon Church. Not every moment of a religious person’s life is holy, and it’s unfair to assume so. These women are not saints, but they’re not evil either; they’re simply people.
All of this to say, the show may be called “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives,” yet it’s not a religious show, and these people should not be worshipped.
We see all of their journeys, the good and the bad, but that doesn’t mean we see the steps along the way. Looking for perfection in these characters will fall flat because they are people and no one is perfect.
Paul is and forever has been a far cry from a role model, and if you haven’t seen that from the beginning, then you need to reevaluate how you see reality TV stars as a whole. Reality TV is not as real as producers want you to believe either.
We regret to inform you that you don’t go to the bakery looking for a wedding dress. Stop seeking moral integrity in a show centering around religious trauma.
Alaina Sayre and Amelia Henson are sophomores studying journalism at Ohio University. Please note the opinions expressed in this column do not represent those of The Post. Want to talk to Amelia or Alaina about their column? Email them at ah300723@ohio.edu or as015023@ohio.edu
